Dear Nan,

Thank you so much for your book.

It has taught me so much about faith in the Lord and the little things

that he provides for us.I have read your book over five times

now and I get something new from it every time I pick it up.

Thank you Nan

Love Steve

My grandmother Rhoda Collins

  HE WAS THERE

ALL THE TIME

To my precious children:

Dorothy, Rita, Ralph, Betty,

Maggie, Walter, Toni and Kevin.

and

My Grandchildren

Deena,

Roger, Barry, Denise, Deanne,

Stephen, Sarah, Shawna,

Tracy, Todd, Tammy, Stephanie,

Kimberly, Craig,

Stacey, Wade, Dean, Dwayne,

Sherry, Heidi, Ginger,

and Nancy.

PREFACE

Some years ago, while in Toronto, in a Sunday morning church service, the Lord gave me a word - just one word, "Write." We had been singing the song, 'Count your blessings name them one by one.'  I couldn't understand it at the time, but the thought would not leave my mind. I pondered it day after day and finally started to write things down about my born-again experience and all that God had done for me - the healings, the vision and the miracles in our family. After a while, I put it all aside and didn't think about it again  until New Years Day, 1986. At that time I felt inspired to continue, by writing about my childhood days.  My desire in all of this is that these reflections  will bring you closer to God.

Rhoda  Collins

Never Alone

Greetings in Jesus name. I am now at the age of seventy-eight. Twice a widow, living alone, yet not alone, because God is with me.  Praise His name.

I thought it good to write a story of my childhood days to keep a record for you. First, I would like to thank God for His gift of Salvation, for my family, my home, all His benefits and blessings and all the ways in which He has led me through the years.

I would also like to thank God for the eight children He has given me and the privilege of seeing them all raised and married. Six of them have committed their lives to God at this time. There are two more (along with their families) to be prayed into His Kingdom. I would also like to thank Him for my twenty-two grandchildren, step-grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. I love them dearly and pray for them daily.

I was born October 14, 1917, on a little island, in Bonavista Bay, called Silver Fox Island. My parents were Job and Maggie Rogers. I had three sisters Eva, Statia and Priscilla and one brother, John. My sister, Priscilla, died when she was a baby.

Eva

Eva was next to me and she was a precious sister. She was married to John James Hunt, from the Island. She had a very difficult time when she had her first child, but she came through and had the baby. Two years later she had another baby, this time a girl and again there were complications.

I lived about a ten minute walk from her home and went to visit her one morning, not knowing she was feeling ill. When I arrived, I discovered she was sick enough to be in bed. Mom was there with her, while Aunt Lucy, her mother-in-law, had gone to visit a friend. I went up to her room and upon seeing her remarked to myself how beautiful she looked. She asked for a drink of water, so I went to the kitchen, but couldn't find anything, so I ran to my house to get her a nice cold drink. When I gave her the water, she drank it all. Meanwhile, I was telling her how beautiful she looked. In fact I never saw her look so beautiful. She used to have eczema on her hands, but as I looked at them they were perfect. I said "Look my love, your hands are all better." Then I went back down to the kitchen for a minute and  came out screaming, "She is gone!"  She had died without a moan or any sound. Well, we were in shock and there was nothing we could do only scream and cry. We had never seen anything like it!

The doctor was on his way from Greenspond and was just coming into the harbour, but he didn't make it on time. I think that was the most terrible day of my life. I think her death was caused from childbirth, but we still don't know for sure. Her little baby died two weeks later. What a sad time it was for us.

My father and Eva's husband were on their way back from fishing on the Labrador coast when Eva died.  Of course it was like another funeral all over again when they finally arrived. I was a widow at that time with my two girls, Dorothy and Rita. Oh, the storms of life! Even though we thought God was afar off and we had to fight our battles alone, I know now that He was always there. I believe it was God's will for me to visit her that morning.

*******************

Our Church

We were brought up in the Church of England faith. As far back as I can remember, my Mom and Dad would take us children out to church. We went whenever possible, when the church was open. The old church bell would ring - first to alert us to get ready, the second ring to get us walking on our way to the church. We attended Sunday morning and night. I loved going out to the church services and Sunday School. If it was raining or snowing it still did not stop us, we went anyway. My parents made sure to be there on time - before the bell stopped ringing. We wouldn't dare walk in after it had stopped.

Our minister would come every fourth or fifth Sunday. The other services were performed by a lay reader, such as a teacher from the day school.

******************

Childhood days

If I were to put a title on this I would call it "Childhood days" because I would like to write all the things I can remember about my up-bringing. I know you will find if difficult to relate to much of my childhood, since you have been raised in a different age. My childhood days were exciting. I loved going to school and helping my Mom around the house. I was the oldest child and felt responsible for doing things to help out.  My brother and sisters grew up the same way. One daily chore I remember well, was filling the lamp with oil (kerosene), cleaning the chimney and trimming the wick.

I used to watch my mother baking bread and would beg her to let me do it.  She wouldn't.  One day I went to Newport to visit my Aunt Elsie.  She was sick in bed and needed bread made.  Her children were all younger than me and I offered to make her bread.  So, placing the pan on a little chair I made my first bread.  When it came time to put it in the pans though I had a problem and couldn't see how I could manage.  I did the best I could and got through it somehow.  The children enjoyed it anyway.

Summertime we would play outside. We made a tent by covering the top of the wood horse with a blanket. I also remember as a child how we would get hard bread, chew it to make it soft and make little cakes from it.

These were the good old days, as the older people would call them. As I mentioned earlier I loved going to church and I also liked going to school. Thinking back, there was little else to look forward to in those days. There was no communication with the outside world since there was no electricity and no telephone or radio. Our way of receiving messages was by way of telegraph on Fair Island - the island closest to ours. When a message was received on Fair Island for someone on Silver Fox Island, they would raise a flag on a high pole. Someone on our island would eventually see the flag and travel by boat, in summer or walk on ice during the winter, to get the message. The person going to get the message would not know who the message was for until they got there and opened it. Sometimes the person expecting a message would be disappointed, after making the trip, when they discovered it was for someone else. However, the next time someone else would volunteer and through the years this was how we communicated with the outside world.

Mail was carried by steamer, both in Newfoundland and Labrador.  To send mail to someone away from home, who was fishing a schooner, it had to be addressed: The persons name, the name of their schooner and followed by Labrador Afloat. If by chance they would connect with the steamer they would get their mail. Many times they would be gone all summer and never heard a word from home.  If there was a death at home the mail steamer would raise a black flag.

My people had great reverence for God. We all feared Him, but I think the greatest fear we had was that of the Judgement Day. That was all we were taught to look forward to. I remember so well when there were great thunder storms, we would be so afraid. And we had many of them in those days. We would start to be afraid when black clouds gathered in the sky. When the lightening flashed and the thunder roared we would wonder if this would be the Judgement Day. After the storm was over, we would be happy again - until the next storm.

My dad would be on the Labrador coast fishing during the summer time. When the storm would come on at night, my mother would bundle us up and take us down to Aunt Emily's house. My Aunt Emily was a very brave woman and always comforted us when we were afraid. I always wondered why she was not afraid. Sometimes we would visit  Aunt Emily's sister, my step-grandmother, at Newport. During the storms she was so afraid she would hide under the stairs and cover her head with a quilt. Other than the fear of God, I think that was the only fear we had. We don't seem to have thunder storms now like we had then.

My parents were very traditional. They feared God and lived up to the light and knowledge of what they had. The Bible was seldom read in our home and never talked about. Of course we had never heard about Salvation. However we were brought up with the knowledge we did have. There was never anything ungodly brought into our home. I thank God for my parents. When Mom would buy a book for us children, it would always be a religious one.

I remember when I was just a little girl, old enough to baby sit my little sister.  Mom and Dad were going to church with my brother and my other sister. They asked me to stay home with the baby. Of course I did not like to miss church above all things. However, I would never dare to disobey them. I do not remember ever disobeying my parents. I do not remember ever saying no to my dad and do not remember getting a spanking from him. A long life has been promised me from the Lord for obeying my parents.

While there alone that night and with the baby asleep, I took the Bible and started to read the 28th chapter of Genesis down to the 12th verse. I was reading about Jacob's dream. I became so fascinated with the ladder reaching down from heaven to the earth and the angels ascending and descending. Well, that night I dreamed I was telling Beckie Feltham I had dreamed Jacob's dream. In my dream, I was describing to her how I saw the ladder reaching from heaven to earth, right down to the back of Uncle Bill Rogers sheep house.  I saw the angels going up and down the ladder. That dream still stands out so clearly in my mind over the years. I don't know if there was supposed to have been a meaning to that dream, but God does, Bless His Holy name. Someday I will understand why the Lord gave me that very unusual dream.

*******************

The Birds and The Bees

In the days of my childhood, everyone had to have a cellar to keep their food from freezing in winter and spoiling in summer. They would build a little house in the ground and cover it with earth. There would be a door in one end and the cellar was equipped with shelves for the jams, chow pickles and other bottled preserves. Bins were used to store the potatoes, turnips and other vegetables. Rabbits, birds and meat were hung in the store during the winter to keep it frozen. This is how we made it through the year without a refrigerator.

Our cellar reminded me of what I knew about the facts of life as a child. As children we were told that babies came from stumps. Whatever our parents told us as children we believed. This little incident served to reinforce my belief in what I had heard.

Just prior to when my last sister was born, Mom was not feeling too well and the midwife came to stay with her. We didn't know what her real purpose was in coming and we were watching from outside through the kitchen window, trying to see what was going on. Then we saw people up by the cellar with a lantern and a shovel. One was digging while the other held the lantern. We were watching to see if we could see the baby. Later the lantern disappeared into the cellar and we couldn't see anything. Our conclusion, of course, when the baby arrived, was that we knew this time where our new sister had come from. After all we had seen the whole thing.

I have talked to many older people, who have told me they too had been told that babies came from stumps. In those days, things like this were considered sacred and children were not supposed to ask questions about childbirth until they were much older.

*******************

Mom and Dad

My father spent a lot of time away from home. During the summer he fished off the Labrador coast. In the fall the fish were shipped to St. John's and winter supplies were brought back. Sometimes the supplies brought back would be insufficient, if the fish season had been poor. During the winter, Dad would spend most of his time on the main land cutting firewood and logs for boat building and catching rabbits.

I remember my mother working so hard shovelling snow during the winter with just a garden shovel. First she would shovel a path for us children to get to school. That was a very long path. Then she would shovel one to the well. It was my job to bring water to fill our water barrel. Next she would shovel to the outhouse, then to the wood house and then to the clothes line. By this time we would be home from school for lunch, as hungry as bears. After she had prepared dinner for us, she would go back to shovelling snow to keep the path clear before another storm. If that were not continued there was no way one could handle all the snow. After school we had very little time for fun. I would get my two-gallon can and make many trips to the well to fill the barrel with water. This had to be done on a daily basis. Then the wood box had to be filled and kindling brought in to start the fire in the morning.

The fire was lit in a cast iron stove. When it needed cleaning the stove was allowed to cool down. Then we would polish it with black polish and shine it with a brush. The old iron kettle was given the same treatment. When they were polished up they looked beautiful. There was only this one stove to heat a two-story house, but the stove pipe went up through our bedroom and this kept our room warm during the early part of the night. All fire had to be out before my parents went to bed.

My mother always got up in the morning and started the fire to warm the kitchen a bit before we got up. Sometimes it was so cold our bread would be frozen. She would put it in the oven and thaw it. This would make it nice and brown. This hot bread with butter was delicious. Thinking about it, I wish I had some now for supper, but I'm sure it would not taste as good now as it did then.

I loved my father and hated to see him work so hard, bringing the firewood up over the steep hill on his shoulders. I would go out in the evening when I got home from school and help him saw up the wood with an old cross cut saw, which was hard to work with. Later we got a buck saw, which was lighter and easier to use. There were no chain saws in those days. After Dad had split the wood my brother and sister would help store it in the wood shed. The wood had to be stored carefully, to get as much as possible in the shed to last through the stormy days.

*****************

Rheumatic Fever

I enjoyed both day school and Sunday school. One Sunday, during Sunday school, I took sick. I thought I would be able to make the fifteen or twenty minute walk to my home. I tried so hard to make it, however, my last feeble effort failed and I could go no further. I leaned back against a rock, while my sister stayed with me and my brother ran home to get Dad. When he arrived he took me up in his arms and carried me home.

Each day I grew worst. My Dad went down to Greenspond and brought back the doctor. He told them I had Rheumatic Fever and I would need total bed rest. Each day after that I grew worst until I was totally crippled and could not feed myself. My mother took my little bed down into the kitchen, where she could be with me at all times. I was in that condition for a month. That illness left me with a damaged heart, as I was informed later, but praise God He saw to it that it didn't leave me with any side effects.

Our minister, Mr. Sheppard, came to visit me one day and talked to me and encouraged me. Gradually I started to recover and was able to sit up and feed myself. My feet were still swollen and I was unable to wear my shoes. However, after a few days, I wanted to get up and go to school even though I could not walk very well. My mother would dress me up in warm clothes and pack me a lunch to take to Aunt Lizzie Hunt's, since she lived near the school. They also got a sled for me and off we would go.  John, my brother and Eva, my sister , would pull me over the hill to the school. This continued for a little while until I was able to walk again. But, oh how I loved to be back to school again! Praise the Lord He was with me all the time, although I did not realize it.

**************

School Days

My ambition had been to keep to the top of my class. My first year was Primer, where we learned about the animals and how to spell their names. At that time you see, there was only a few animals we had ever seen. We had only seen cats, dogs, sheep, pigs and most of the others we had never heard of. The next year was Grade One. We had one teacher for three years. The next grades were Two and Three of course. The books for these grades were called Royal Readers. We also used an exercise book with the multiplication tables on the back page. One other subject was Arithmetic where we were taught to add, subtract, multiply and divide. A slate, with a proper slate pencil was provided to use with it. Our pencil box was carried in our book bag along with a bottle of water and a cloth to clean the slate with. All of this was prepared each day prior to going to bed.

I remember getting up one morning, my bottle of water had frozen and the bottle had broken. That day I had to do without water. When I found another bottle, I was sure to wrap it before going to bed.

We had a wood stove to keep the school warm. Sometimes we would take turns to bring bundles of wood to help keep the fire burning.

Each school day was always special. Sometimes it would be very cold and we could take the short cut across the ice in the harbour. This was always a delight. Sometimes we used our sled during recess and had lots of fun.  I like to give details about the good old days, they bring back such pleasant memories. We didn't have skates, but we did have sleighs and there were plenty of hills.

The last year I went to school the new books came out. I bought them all: Geography, Hygiene, Arithmetic and Grammar. I was so excited with my new books. There was so much to learn about the outside world, the different animals and all the beautiful people. We learned of things we had never heard of before. It was so exciting!

For spelling exercises, we would all line up at the teacher's desk. If you knew how to spell the word you were asked, you could stay in your position, but if you did not - down to the bottom of the class you would go. The next word could get you back up to the top of the class, if you knew how to spell it. One had to work hard to keep to the top. This was a daily routine.

Another important thing we learned in school was discipline. If you did not want to get the leather strap, you would be careful not to do anything wrong. Punishment ranged from being put in a corner with books over your head to the leather strap.

*******************

End of School

Continuing with my school days that I enjoyed so much, I am sorry to relate how they came to an end.

All was going well for me in school until one particular morning.  If my memory serves me right, our teacher at that time, was a man from Pinchards Island. In my mind he did something very foolish. Just after school opened in the morning and all the class had started their work, the teacher discovered Joseph Matthew's name written on the window ledge. He then questioned every child and everyone denied having written the name. The teacher was determined he was going to find out who did it, so he had each child write the name, Joseph Matthews, on their slate. He would compare their writing with the writing on the window. I had not seen the name written on the window. When his judgement was handed down, I was the guilty one. I knew I was as innocent as the angels in Heaven and as a child this was too much for my sensitive nature. By this time it was lunch hour and with my heart breaking, I left never to return again. My school ended on a very sad note. When I went home, I told my mother I would never go back to school again. She did not force me to go back. She was very hurt too. The teacher knew I was hurt, but he never came to see me or ever spoke to me again.

I have suffered for that decision many times over the years, because I felt so inadequate to write and do the things I love to do. My spelling is very poor and many times I felt ashamed of my writing. But, by the help of the Lord I have come this far and will continue to keep in touch with my family. I have always liked to do things well. But as for a formal education, I will never finish that part.

Meantime, at home, I learned to sew and knit. Blessed be the name of the Lord, who knows our beginning and ending. He knew us before we were born and brought us out of darkness into His marvellous light and set our feet on the solid rock, Christ Jesus and established our going. Thank you Jesus.

*******************

Feast Day

Looking back on our past, our people were traditional as I mentioned earlier. We loved to look forward to Sundays. Not only for church going, but at home as well. All our people called Sunday a Feast Day. Saturday was a day to prepare for the Sabbath Day, (as we sometimes called Sunday). For breakfast we would put the salt fish in a pot of water to remove some of the salt. In another pot, the hard bread was soaked in cold water. We would cut up the salt pork to fry out for fat and have all this ready for the next morning for breakfast.

To prepare for dinner the vegetables had to be cleaned and ready to cook. For supper, pastry and cake had to be prepared. These things had to be done Saturday, because the only thing allowed on Sunday was to dress, eat and go to church and Sunday school. After eating and cleaning up the dishes, we dressed in clothes that could only be worn on Sundays. By that time the old church bell would ring and off we would go as happy as a family could be. I kept up with that tradition long after I got married. However, when I left the Island, I left it all behind me.

We were taught the Ten Commandments, the Lords Prayer and the Apostles Creed. At the age of ten or eleven we were ready to be Confirmed by the laying on of hands by the Bishop. Then we were ready to receive our first Communion of the bread and wine which the Lord had commanded to be received. I remember taking Communion once, but somehow in my heart I felt unworthy and didn't take it again until I became a born-again Christian.

*******************

Helping Hands

My favorite past time at night, when my school lessons were finished, was to help my mother with mat hooking. Let me explain how it was done.

In those days, potatoes and hard bread was bought in large bren {burlap} sacks. The sacks were taken apart and hemmed. My father would make a frame for us, the size of the mat we wanted. The bren was then laced onto the frame. Dad would then make a mat hook. We would save some threads of the bren and bark it. That would do for the background. We would use our favorite pattern from all the old table cloths, white sheets and pillow cases. We would dye it different colours for the flower part. The exciting part was taking it off the frame when it was done. It looked beautiful! There was no carpet in those days. The hallway and every room  upstairs were covered with mats. There was a lot of work in keeping the mats clean. Every weekend the mats were rolled up, taken down stairs to the front bridge to be dusted. While my mother continued the cleaning upstairs, the mats would be brought back up and set in place. Our kitchen floor was made from match lumber and painted red or green, to make it easier to clean.

We were well trained in the home. By the time we left we were able to keep house. I thank God for my parents. They worked very hard to raise us children. When I became a teenager, I wished in my heart many times, I could earn money to help them. However this was not possible, since all the people on our island were on the same level. Some of them were much worse off than we were. I must say I never went without shoes for my feet and never had to wear patched clothes. Lots of dear children barely had enough to keep them warm. Our people, in many respects, were like one big family. They always helped each other and shared what they had. Mom would always visit the sick and take soup or some other food to them.

As a child, I remember watching my mother making fat soap. She would save all the fat from leftovers until she had enough for a batch. She would also save ashes from the stove. By pouring boiling water over the ashes, a strong lye solution was made. She would then melt the fat and boil it with the lye solution. When the boiling was finished, salt was added to harden the mixture. The mixture was then cut into cakes after it had cooled the next morning. It was stored in the attic to be used for cleaning floors and washing clothes.

My mother would use a large wooden tub and a wash board, which were brought into the kitchen when it was time to wash clothes. Aprons, tablecloths and pillow cases had to be put in "blue" water, after the wash, then starched, before being put on the clothes line to dry.

Sunlight soap was bought for washing dishes and for bathing. There were no dish washing liquids or detergents in those days. Everybody made the best of what they had and nobody ever complained. These things were accepted because we knew of nothing any better. In later years, the galvanized wash tub and the glass wash board became available and that was much improved. Small children could bathe in these galvanized tubs. Before that, there was a large basin and jug upstairs, placed on a wash stand, so everybody could wash their feet and sponge bath. I guess in a similar manner, Jesus poured water into a basin to wash the disciple's feet. Bless His dear name. He went to the lowest estate of man. I love to mention His name, because He is so precious to me. He is leading me to higher heights and deeper depths in Him.

Fishing to Live

When my father returned from the Labrador coast with his catch of fish in late summer, or early fall, we would all get very busy  "making" fish. It had to be dried and made ready for market in St. John's before late fall. First, it was taken from the schooner to the stage and placed in bulks. After this, it was placed in large vats filled with salt water. This was drawn with a bucket on a rope from the ocean. There was a hole in the floor of the stage, through which the water was drawn, called the trunkhole. If the sun was shining the next morning, the fish was carried on "hand bars" to the flakes. These were flat surfaces built out over the rocks near the stage, on which the fish was laid to dry in the sun. Each evening the fish had to be taken up and stored in the stage. This would prevent it from getting wet during the night. The fish had to be carefully watched. If the sun was too hot, the fish would get sunburnt and this would make it unfit for selling. A shower of rain would have everyone running to get the fish up off the flake and into the stage. If it looked like the sun would shine again soon, it could be bulked together on the flake, covered and spread again when the sun came out. This was a daily chore until the fish was dry enough to pack in the schooner for the trip to St. John's. On the return trip, winter supplies were brought back.

Fishing was a gambling game. If you did not get a load of fish you would not have enough money to buy your winter supplies. There was no other way to make money for the fishermen until the fishing season came around again.  However, God always saw us through the hard times and always blessed the little we had, even before we knew about Him.

In those days, butter was bought in 22 pound tubs and it was called Silver Spread. Flour, salt and pork came in 100 pound barrels. We really looked forward to Dad coming back from St. John's. We were certain he would always have something for us children. Apples and oranges were a great treat. We would get about a dozen of each during the year. Fresh fruit was not available on the Island, but canned fruit was available.

We felt so sorry for the many precious souls who never made it home in the late fall. There were terrible storms at sea during those trips back from St.John's and many schooners and their crews were lost at sea. This was heart rending for all concerned. Everyone watched and waited as the time drew near for their return and how happy we would be to see our schooner return home safely.

******************

Uncle Chris

I remember when I was just a little girl, my father's brother, Uncle Chris and his wife lived with us. His wife's name was Elsie and his two children were Garland and Beatrice. While returning from the trip to St.John's one fall, his schooner and all on board, were lost at sea. Uncle Chris had promised to bring me back a doll when he returned. There was one other man from the Island with him, Thomas Button. Both bodies were found and returned home to be buried. At first the bodies could not be identified. The body of Thomas Button was put off at our wharf and Uncle Chris was delivered to the wharf belonging to the Button's. Later Uncle Chris was identified by the ring he had on his finger. I was too young to remember all of the details, but what stands out most in my mind was the terrible time my father went through. He was broken hearted with no one to comfort him.

Jesus said come unto me all you that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Cast all your cares and burdens upon Him, for He cares for you. Oh, if we knew Jesus in those days, we would not have had to bear all our burdens alone, but I am sure He understood and took us through.

The little story says - As the camel kneels before his master to have him remove his burden at the end of the day - So kneel each night and let the Master take your burden away. Add all of the parents love in the whole world and the total cannot be multiplied enough times to express Gods love for me - the least of his children.

I will draw my strength from him - Jesus

As I lay upon His breast.

I will take my comfort from Him,

And there I will find sweet rest.

For there is no other fountain,

Where I can be more satisfied.

Than in the arms of Christ my Saviour,

No blessing will I be denied.

Thank you Jesus.

*******************

Festive Days

Christmas time was a very exciting event. It was fun time. We looked forward to it with joy and gladness of heart. All work had to be finished by Christmas Eve. Our Christmas Eve supper was traditional. It had to be salt fish and molasses raisin bread. After supper, my father would bring in the fir Christmas tree and hang it. Stockings were hung on the wall. Then we would all help to trim the tree, which when it was finished was like a real fruit tree. There were beautiful hearts of solid candy, grapes, candy cane, apples, large figs, all dangling down from the tree. What a beautiful sight and a real treat, but we had to wait until the twelve days of Christmas were over before we could touch some of the treats. It would be the day after Old Christmas Day before the tree was taken down.

When the tree was finished, about nine-thirty, off to bed we would go, anxiously awaiting the next morning. We would run down the stairs, grab our stocking off the wall and run up to bed again. In our stocking we would find an apple, or a few grapes, which we enjoyed to the full. When we got up in the morning, the smell from the tree was so appetizing, it would keep us going all day.

What a different age we live in today. Our children have so many material things that don't seem to satisfy. Christmas seemed to be so much more enjoyable in those days and with so little stress.

Christmas time was twelve days long. With regard to work, only the bare necessities were done. People got together and shared what they had. We would go from house to house, since everyone on the Island was your friend.

There would be a concert at the school and all the children would have a part to play. After that, there would be a Soup Supper. There was no drinking of beer and very little smoking. I never saw a woman smoking in all my teen years. That would be a disgrace to parents. A rare time I saw my father smoke a pipe and that was only when he could afford it. He certainly would never spend his last dollar on tobacco.

I remember on one occasion, I saw a man drunk. He had made home brew and made himself sick. This took place at the school after a Soup Supper. I fainted and my mother had to take me home. It was the first time I had ever seen anything like it.

We would have a nice cooked dinner on Christmas Day. Certainly not turkey or chicken, but maybe fresh duck or pork. We raised our own pigs in those days and sometimes hens and sheep.

We never heard the word "bored" like we hear from children today. There were many things to do. At Christmas we would dress up in odd, or old clothes and with our faces covered, go from house to house as Mummers. Sometimes we would dance and sometimes they would give us a piece of cake and a glass of syrup. There was always the fun of trying to guess who we were, since our faces were covered. We repeated this, from one house to the next, until it was time to go home.

Now, finally Christmas was over. The tree was taken down and then we could wash the fruit and enjoy it. If that tree were in the houses we have now, the fruit would be all dried out. Not so in our house, since the house was not warm. A wood stove in our kitchen was the only source of heat and the fire would have to be put out before bedtime for fear of fire. Many times I saw the stove pipe catch on fire. If it overheated, we would have to stand by and put wet rags on it to cool it down.

The fruit from the tree was ours to enjoy, but the large candy hearts had to be put in boxes and stored in the attic until the next year. On Old Christmas night, our stocking was hung again and this time it would be stuffed with a piece of cake or cookies.

The next exciting event was New Years Day. My mother always made sure there was some new garment for us children to wear on New Years Day. Another tradition, was to have a new hat and a special dress to wear to church and Sunday school. We were not allowed to wear these clothes any other time and we dare not disobey our parents. Again I thank God for parents, who brought me up in a straight and narrow way.

When New Years Day was past and gone, the next occasion to look forward to was Pancake Day. This was the day before Ash Wednesday, which was the beginning of the Lenten Season. When we got home from school, we knew what we would be having for dinner. On the table would be a large plate of pancakes. Each pancake would have something special in it. It could be a button, a nickel, a ring, a nail or a piece of straw etc. Each object would represent something. The straw was supposed to mean the one who found it would become a good floor sweeper, or the nail, a carpenter.  (I remember getting a nail once - I guess that's why I am such a good carpenter, Ha Ha!).  Finding the button meant you would be a good tailor, (I guess that helped me too). The one who got the ring would be married first and so on. We were all excited as to who would find the nickel, since it would mean they would be rich. Oh for the good old days.

The next day, Wednesday, we would go to church morning and evening. There would also be church services every Friday night during the Lenten Season. There were no other activities during Lent, not even a marriage. On Good Friday, no work was done. Nothing was eaten with grease.  No water was thrown outside. Some would say that we were throwing water in the Saviour's face if we did. A tub, or a pail was brought into the house to put water in, until sundown. At night, off to church we would go. This was a very sacred time as we reminded ourselves of our precious Lord dying on the cross.

Saturday was a sad day, as we thought of our precious Lord, lying in the grave. Easter Sunday morning was a day of rejoicing. It was Resurrection Day! Our precious Lord had risen from the grave, all victorious. The price had been paid for our redemption. Of course, for our people Easter Monday was the big day. Preparation was made by the ladies for the soup suppers and tea, following the dance and all that goes with it.

Eggs were a treat for us children. We had a couple of hens and sometimes we would watch them to find out where they would lay their eggs.  We would be sure and save up enough so everyone could have one Easter Sunday Morning.  They would be boiled and put in egg cups.

Another event to look forward to was Valentine Day, the fourteenth of February. There were no Valentine cards. Each of us would write a verse to our godparents or friends and gifts would be exchanged.

*******************

Grandparents

As a child, I loved to visit my grandfather at Newport. My mother was an only daughter. She had one brother, Elias, my uncle. My mom's mother died when Mom was a teenager. She had been on the Labrador coast in a schooner, with her father, when she passed away. I never had the privilege of seeing her, but I have heard about her. She was a good woman and always prayed. She died calling upon the Lord. I love that, because I have the hope of seeing her. I have heard Uncle Elias talk about her many times. He said, he heard her praying as she died in Uncle Jessie's arms. (Uncle Jessie was my grandfather's brother). Both confirmed that she had gone to be with the Lord.

Later, my grandfather remarried. His second wife was Priscilla Wicks, she was the only grandmother I knew. My father's parents died before I could know them, but I cherish fond memories of them.

Uncle Elias married Aunt Jane and lived at Grandfathers house. I can still picture my Grandmother putting her white flour bag tablecloth on the table and her beautiful homemade bread. Then some roasted cod with homemade jam, it would sharpen the appetite of any child.

I was the first grandchild. Grandfather would come up to the Island to visit us often. He would always bring something for me, a doll, a cup and saucer, or a knife and fork on a card. Sometimes it would be peppermint candy - "sweets" as Grandfather would call them. A while ago I found one of the little knives, with a bone handle, which he had given me. Oh, how I cherished it, as it brought back such sweet memories. As his first grandchild, I got all the attention a child could get.

*******************

Labour - The Old Way

Sometimes we would go down to the stage, to watch Dad and Uncle Bill saw planks to build a motor boat. They would be using a long saw with a handle at each end (it was called a pit saw). One man would be standing on the stage floor, while the other would be up in the top loft. They would saw up and down until a plank was removed from the log. In the spring the boats were ready for launching. The motor boats were rigged with old fashioned, one cylinder engines and the punts were rigged with oars, paddles and a sail. When the wind was right, they would set the sail and have a nice time along.

Now, Spring is here again. April month was one of much activity. Before I was out of bed in the morning I could hear the click, click of the motor boats. Every man was on the move, going up the bay, or to the main shore, to cruise home their wood and logs, which had been cut during the previous winter. When the boats returned, they would be fully loaded and some had a loaded punt in tow as well. Each had to be unloaded, brought up the hill and stored close to the woodshed. Then it all had to be sawed by hand and stored in the shed. This is where children could help. I loved my father and sometimes it would hurt me to see him bring heavy loads of wood over the hill.

The men spent between May and June preparing their schooners and nets. Usually by the first week of July, all the schooners would be ready to set sail.

Of course the women were busy in the Spring time too. They had to shear the sheep, wash and card the wool. The wool would then be spun to knit mittens and stockings. This was to prepare their men for fishing on the Labrador coast. Before they started their gardens, they would have to take all their sheep and put name tags on them, then load them in motor boats. They were taken to Indian Bay to a place called Old Jingle. Here they were released to feed where they pleased. I am sorry to say that some never returned. During the summer we would cut grass, dry it and store it for the sheep during the winter. In the fall the sheep were brought back to the Island and left to roam again. Through the winter the sheep were protected from the cold and snow in a sheep house.

Every family had a potato and cabbage garden. There was no good flat land on which to plant. In fact there was not much land for anything. When we go back to the Island now, we cannot figure out where all the houses were built. It seems as if there just wasn't enough space. Yet through it all the people lived and raised large families. And God did supply every need. He said in His Word He would never see His seed begging bread. He was watching over us all the time and we didn't know Him as we know Him now. Praise His wonderful name.

May God bless our forefathers, they lived in sincerity to the knowledge of what they had. They were not as privileged as I am today, to hear His Word preached in all it's purity and power. God's Word says: How can they hear without a preacher and how can they preach except they are called of God? Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path. The Word of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run unto it and are safe. I would like to thank God, because His precious Word is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet; and if I follow, it will lead me unto eternal life.

I would like to thank Him for the time when He removed the scales from my eyes and opened my understanding to His Word. What a change in my heart, since Jesus came in. He is more than life to me. He supplies all my needs. As I sit and learn at the feet of Jesus I am free, yes free, indeed. Thank you Jesus.

I remember as children how we would play outside in the sunshine. Sometimes we went to pick berries. There were raspberries, currants, blackberries and blueberries. When we brought them to Mom, she would make puddings and cakes from them.  When I got older I used to join up with a crowd and we would row over to the mainland to pick bakeapples.  This would usually take a full day. Sometimes the berries were plentiful. Lunch time we would light a fire and boil the kettle on the beach and sit down for a big feed of smoked salmon and home made bread.  We would make sure to be home before dark.

I look back now and realize how sheltered we were from sin. Today's generation is exposed to all types of sin. The precious youth of our land have been deceived and some have been totally destroyed, in this age of drugs. Our parents never had the kind of heartaches some parents have today.

In this modern age, we have everything at our finger tips and have all the material things our hearts could desire. In raising a family, there seems to be far more heartaches now than ever before. I would not be able to bear these burdens alone. Jesus would have to carry them for me. We are covered by His blood and He provides happiness and security. When we have Him, we have everything. The world is getting more corrupt every day. God's Word says, 'Satan is going around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.' The Word tells us to bind the powers of Satan, in His name and pray without ceasing. We can claim our household for the kingdom of God. Praise the name of Jesus, I have prayed and claimed them. Thank you Lord, I stand on your promises which cannot fail.

*******************

My Gift

At a very young age, I learned to sew - I guess it was my gift. I didn't have anyone to teach me. My mother was not a dressmaker. She would sometimes make alterations to an old garment for me, but if it didn't fit, I would complain. When I asked to try it for myself, Mom would say, "No, you will spoil the material."  The first thing I made was a yellow blouse for myself. It made me feel good and this gave me confidence. I had proven to my mother that I could make my own clothes. There were no patterns in those days, so you would have to think up your own pattern, or look at a blouse or dress someone else was wearing. If I liked a style, I would think it through in my mind and go home and make one like it. Later in my life this was a great help to other people. In the hard times people couldn't afford to buy their own clothes. When anyone asked me to make a coat or dress, I could never say no, or make an excuse. I did all that was possible to help people. I thank God he gave me that kind of heart. I know He has blessed our family in this area. They are loving and giving, which I am proud of. Our rewards are in Heaven.

*******************

Teenage Years

Most of my teenage years were spent away from home.  I think I was thirteen years old the first summer I was away.  I went to Traytown and spent the summer with my Aunt Florence and Uncle George Littlejohn.  Aunt Florence's family were all married and away from home. She wrote Mom a letter and asked if she would let me come up with her for awhile. She was my grandmother's sister. Mom allowed me to go and I enjoyed being with them very much. The next summer, (1931), I returned to Traytown and went to work in the home of Mrs. Robert Kean. She had three girls and a son Charley, who was born while I was with them. I didn't see Charley again until we moved to Glovertown to live.  A man came to dig out our basement and I heard Charley's name mentioned and I introduced myself.

I also remember my first trip on a steamer when Mom took us up to Glovertown. It was night and as we were coming up the bay a little bird flew down into the cabin. That caused quite a bit of excitement.

To get the train we would go by passenger boat to Gambo to connect with it.  We never heard of such a place as Gander when I was growing up.  My first trip on the train was when I was about twelve years old.  My Mother went to Fair Island with me where we met Caleb Ackerman who was leaving there to catch the train. I was going to Glovertown so she put me in his care.

*******************

Away from Home

When I was fifteen, I went to Glovertown to work for Aunt Jane Holloway. She had four sons at home and the youngest was my age. She was not able to work for them and there was no employment for the boys. She was able to get up each day, get to the kitchen, sit in her chair and give me instructions. I could manage to cook, wash and clean for them. People were so limited then, since there were no jobs and no money coming in. I remember, I did get five dollars for that summers work. I bought a coat and a pair of white sneakers. Well, I was as happy as the Queen. Aunt Jane taught me how to card sheep wool, spin it and knit socks for the boys. In the fall, I went back home for the winter.

That teaching was of great benefit to me in the years to come. When I first got married, one of the first things I had to do was to spin wool and knit socks and mittens for my husband to take with him on his trip to Labrador. Aunt Jane also taught me to make a shirt for a little boy who had come to her house one day and he did not have a shirt to wear. His name was John Holloway. I joke with him now and tell him I made the first shirt he ever wore.

When the summer was over, I returned home again for the winter. There was not much for me to do, except help Dad with the wood and help Mom hooking mats.

******************

First Love

The next time I left the Island, it was winter. My parents and grandparents had all moved to Lockers Bay to cut logs. I spent the first night in the camp with them. The next day someone was going up to Hare Bay, so I went along with them to look for a job. The following day I was hired by Pierce and Nellie Wells. That was my first regular wage - five dollars a month. At that time Mrs. Wells had another girl, Florence Curtis, working for her. And work we did! Lots of it. Their business was to take in boarders and there were ten of us in the house.  Mrs. Wells had two little girls and she had another one while I was with her that year. I stayed with them for six months and returned home in the spring.

Transportation was busy during this time. Sometimes you could get out of Hare Bay on the mail boat. However, I thought I would try to get home by going to Trinity. The Matthews were there, building their schooner and were going to the Island on the weekends. I knew there would be a good chance for me to get home with them.

Arriving at Trinity, I went in to see Mary Matthews. She was cooking supper for the crew and since it was close to supper time, she asked me to stay. I didn't want to stay because I felt so out of place among a crowd of men. It was so far from my mind that I would be meeting my future husband here for the first time.

In spite of my shyness, they insisted that I stay and have supper with them. It was then that Walter suddenly took me in his arms and kissed me and then put me to the table. We had a great laugh over that. Later that evening we went back home to the Island and I didn't think any more about that incident.

Later in the Spring, Walter came to my house to visit me. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. We had grown up together, yet we were strangers. I remember thinking, this can't be real. He was seven years older than I and this made a big difference. Later he came to visit again and our love began to grow for each other. It was first love for both of us and we felt strong and happy about it.

However, it would be only a short time before he would be gone down to Labrador fishing for the summer and it would be a long time before I would see him again.

The schooner the Matthews family had been building was finished. It was named The Silver Jubilee and they were about to take her down for her first trip. I made up my mind to do something I thought I would never do. I decided to make the trip to Labrador on a fishing schooner. I didn't like the water, because if it was rough I would always get seasick. My father was going to Labrador that year with Skipper Bill Wicks. They needed a cook and asked me if I would go with them. I agreed to go, thinking I would be able to see Walter somewhere down there during the summer.

*******************

The Black Man

We left home for Labrador the first day of July, in the schooner called the Poly B. It was a beautiful day and I remember it well. We had planned to have fish and brewis for supper. The men had caught some fish on the way down the shore. Seldom-Come-By was our first days run and we were coming into the harbour when the wind took a different course and threw the schooner on its side. Away went the pot and the fish and brewis over the forecastle floor. Of course after that I didn't cook while under sail again. Besides I was too seasick to do anything. Henry Wicks did the cooking while we were under sail.

With regard to seeing Walter, I was in for a big disappointment, because they left the fishing grounds early that year and were home a month before I got back.

However, we did have some pleasant times and also hard ones. The fish were not very plentiful at all. We had gone as far North, on the Labrador coast, as Mount Pike. We would have to return with only part of a load. The time for fishing was over and now we would have to leave and head for home. The schooner we were in, was old and had no engine. When it was calm the sails were useless, so we would launch a motor boat and tow the schooner. You can imagine how slow we were moving - a small motor boat towing a big old schooner. During the flat calm we were barely moving along the Straights of Belle Isle.

There was one other schooner down there that year. It belonged to the Babstocks from Eastport. They also had a girl to cook for them, her name was Janie Babstock. This would also be my first encounter with a black man.

As children we were told not to tell lies or do anything bad because the Black Man would carry us away. We never questioned who the Black Man was. I wonder now - was it the Devil they meant? Although they didn't say, I wonder did they know, or was it just a saying. I had  certainly never heard anything about a real Devil.

It was a beautiful morning with the water as calm as could be. All the men on both ships were away, hauling their traps. We didn't know there was anyone living near us, but I think Fords Harbour was just around the point. Janie and I were on board our schooners which were anchored close to each other. We heard a boat coming and people talking. Both of us were on deck and we were afraid. I asked Janie to come on board with me. She said she couldn't because she had pies in the oven. She asked me to come over with her and I said I couldn't because I had bread in the oven.

There were two old men coming straight toward our schooner and they were black! I tried to think of what I could do. I went up and sat down near the forecastle. First, they went to look at the rear of the schooner. They were trying to find out the name, I guess. They were talking away in their own language and I didn't know what they were planning. The men could talk a bit of English and one of the old fellows came along to talk to me. He asked me where I was from and my age and then - of all things - he asked me if I would marry him. Well, that almost took my breath away. Can you imagine the spot I was in? Scared to death! Downstairs my bread was in the oven and I was too afraid to go down and take it out. But looking back I believe God's hand was there even though I didn't know Him, because they didn't stay long.  They had a loaf of dry bread and a jug of water in their boat. I knew they were hungry, because every now and again they would jump down into their boat and get a bit of bread and come up again. If I had not been so afraid, I would have given them something to eat. I had always been taught to be kind to people.

But, you see my parents had told me that when you do anything wrong the black man would carry you away. You can imagine the fear from my childhood that had been instilled in my heart. When I saw the first black man, I had not known about the black people that were in our world. Up to this time we still had very little communication with the outside world.

Now, here I am nearly seventeen years old and had never met a coloured or black person before. And what an experience to face it alone.

A few days later another boat came. They were Eskimos and had their women with them. At first I was still very much afraid. I had heard that Eskimos didn't like heat so I went down to the forecastle and put lots of wood in the stove hoping the heat would drive them away.  However, I was soon able to face them and talk to them.  I treated them nice and invited them down in the forecastle and gave them a lunch. It was Saturday, so we had pea soup and crackers and they enjoyed it. They were very fond of my hair. It was blonde and they said, "You have nice hair, we all black hair." The ladies loved the red skirt I was wearing. I gave them some clothes, all I could spare. They gave me a little fur change purse and a pair of fur slippers that they had made.

These precious people were innocent. If I had been a Christian then I would have talked to them about Jesus. But at the time I had never encountered people of another race and being alone didn't know what to expect.

******************

Homeward Bound

I remember one terrible experience we had coming home when we got caught in a storm. The wind came up sudden and I was down in the forecastle at the time. The schooner was tossing so much that I could not get back to the cabin where I used to stay. When under sail, you couldn't feel the storm as bad back there. I climbed in the bunk and held on for dear life. Every time the schooner took a nose dive the water would come streaming into the forecastle. I think this was one of the events when I was putting my trust in the Blessed Saviour's Letter. This will be explained more fully later.

There were two men pumping continuously to keep the water out. One man was strapped near the steering wheel to keep from being washed overboard. Every man was at his post trying to bring us to land. Every once in a while someone would shout down to see if I was still alive. We were out in some hard times, but I think that was the worst.  The Polly B was a very old schooner and that was the last year she sailed before she was repaired.

There were not many days when the wind was in our favour. This is why it took us a month and six days to reach home. It was the sixth day of October before we reached home and it was very unusual to be that late. Everyone at home was worried wondering what had happened to us. It was a happy sight for all concerned, when we sailed into the harbour. Tears of joy were shed that day. Mom had a beautiful supper prepared for us, for desert she had bakeapples she had picked herself. It was a happy reunion, a day no one could ever forget. That night I went to meet my new boyfriend.

I had only one night home, when I had to leave again. My Uncle Sam's wife had a baby boy the night we arrived home, so I had to go over to her house and take care of her and the family for a few days. Meanwhile, the men were unloading the fish out of the schooner.

I had been hoping to get to St. John's in the fall. It looked hopeless because it would be late before the fish was dried and ready for market. However, the Silver Jubilee was making her first trip to St. John's. They had been home early and had their fish ready for loading. The following week they were ready. Two of their women were going and had asked me to go with them. Of course that had been my heart's desire. We had a very enjoyable time. It was my first trip to St.John's. I worried about Dad and the others having to make that trip later in the fall. However, God took care of them even though we didn't realize it.

*******************

Wedding Bells

Walter and I got married in the St. Andrew's church on Silver Fox Island. I was eighteen years old at that time. It was on a Friday, June 5, 1936. It was a small wedding and we didn't have much in this worlds goods or receive large gifts as married couples do today. But we loved each other and love covered it all. I remember the day I walked down the isle of that church with the man I loved. I felt I was the happiest person in all the world. From my heart, I will never forget that day this side of heaven.

Our happiness was short lived and it is good we don't know our future. All our tomorrows are known to God. We lived with Walter's mother, Catherine, who was a widow, his brother, Sam and his wife, Rachel Ann and their family until we had our house built. It was there Dorothy was born, one stormy Friday night, on December 18. I needed a doctor, but there was no way for a boat to get off the Island to get to Greenspond to get him. So it was either life or death, that's how it was in those days. My Aunt Emily Rogers was the midwife and she, with Aunt Myrah Button, helped to bring Dorothy into the world. Sometimes one of them, or my mother-in-law would leave the room and I remember wondering why. Later they told me they were calling upon God for help. When everything else failed God came through. The next morning Dorothy was born, a lovely, healthy girl and she was her father's pride and joy.

When he would leave and go away to Labrador he would say,"I would like to be able to carry her in my bosom."  When she was a year old, he would dress her in the morning while I was making breakfast.

About a year or so later we moved into our new home. His mother came to live with us. It was a lovely bungalow with two bedrooms, a small room for clothes and storage. It had a large square hallway and a large kitchen with a bay window. Most houses in those days had steel stove pipe but ours had a concrete chimney. The house also had a pantry and a porch. We hung Dorothy's Christmas tree in the bay window. It was her second year and we had ordered a full rig for her tree from Eaton's catalogue. It was the first of it's kind on the Island and all the kids came to see her tree.

We had a happy winter and all too soon our men had to prepare to go back to Labrador again to fish for the summer. But we kept busy, since there was always lots to do. There were four of us sisters-in-law who worked together. There was sowing of the gardens, cutting the grass, making hay for our sheep during the winter and smoking salmon.  Some people on the island had smoke houses and smoked salmon all summer long.  We would buy one, they were really delicious.  There is no comparison to what we get today, if available at all.  Next there would be berry picking. Sometimes we would use a rowboat and row to the mainland to visit the marshes for bakeapples. After that it would be blueberries and in the fall we picked partridge berries.

By the time all this was over, we would be looking for our husbands home coming. We watched from the lookout as one schooner after another passed by. It was a beautiful sight when all reached home safe and on time.

As soon as the schooner arrived, we all pitched in with our oil suits on and help the men wash the fish. The next day, if the sun was shining, it would be carried to the flakes on hand bars and spread out to dry. This continued every day until it was ready to be packed again into the schooner to be taken to St.John's for winter supplies. On one return trip, Walter brought me back a lovely foot sewing machine. We placed it in front of the bay window and he showed me how to thread it and sew. I had operated a hand machine before and I had never used a foot machine. That machine was a blessing to me and to all the people I made garments for.

*****************

Sickness and Sorrow

Walter came back from St.John's Saturday, the ninth of September and the next morning Rita was born. It was Sunday, September 10, 1939. It was about this time the Second World War started and that was the day the war of sickness started in our home. A teacher from Bell Island used to board with us at the time and she had brought a radio with her. It was the first one on our Island.  We would listen to the war news.

After Rita was born, I took sick with some kind of virus. The doctor came and gave me some pills, but he gave me very little hope of recovering. However, after thirteen days in bed, I was able to get up and then quickly recovered. My mother spent a lot of her time with me while I was sick, she was always there for me when I needed help. The next day Dorothy came down with a flu. But, in a couple of days, she was running around again.

I dislike writing this sad part of my story, but I have started and I will try to make it as brief as I can. Over the years I have never shared this with any of the children or anyone, it was just too deep and it hurt too much. By the help of the Lord I have come this far and He will help me. As the saying goes: 'If we can stand the pulling, He will pull us through.'

From the September Rita was born, sickness never left our home, until the seventeenth day of February, when my husband passed on. He was a healthy man, but in September he came down with pleurisy. Before he had to take to his bed he complained of a stabbing pain in his side. He had continued to work but finally, after one trip up the bay to cut wood for their schooner, he came home and could continue no longer. We got him a doctor who told us he had fluid on his lungs. The doctor tapped the fluid off the lungs and repeated this three or four times. After this he recovered for a while and could get up and move around. Later, he took very sick again and this time developed inflammation in the bowels. I stood by him night and day. My mother came over to help his mother with Dorothy and Rita and do what had to be done around the home.

I would spend hours reading to him from the Bible, or sometimes a religious book. He didn't seem to draw much comfort from either. The only thing that kept me going was the fact I refused to believe he would die. We would stay up with him all night long. Every second night I would lie down to sleep for a while. Then these thoughts would come to my mind, "Supposing he would die"?  I would fight back with, "No, no, that can't happen."  I kept thinking that every day while he was dying. I just could not accept it. When it finally happened, I was in for a terrible shock.  I thought I would die too. I was unable to attend his funeral. This took place on February 17, 1940 when he was 30 years old.

While he was dying, he was crying out for help and I didn't understand what it was all about. The minister had come to give him Holy Communion and he read to him from the prayer book. After he left, Walter was upset saying the minister didn't have anything to offer him. I did everything that human hands could do for him except pray. I did not know how. The only prayer I knew was my childhood prayers that my mother taught me, the same one I taught my children. There was no one there at that time that could offer up a prayer of faith for him.

There is no wonder we sing, "What a wonderful change since Jesus came into my heart."  I have said, "Oh God, If I had only known you were real and had faith in you then as I have now, my husband would not have died and left me alone with two little children to raise on my own." Rita was only five months old and Dorothy was three years old, when this happened.

Martha said, "If you had been here Lord, my brother would not have died." But He allowed him to die that she might see the glory of God. I wonder sometimes is that why he allowed it to happen to me?

Well, the reality of his going home finally hit me. I believe, because he was crying out to God in the best way he knew, that's where he went. He had always been a good living person since he had been raised that way.

**************

Knowledge of The Word

The following incident shows what we were taught from the scriptures in those days. Prior to being married, I had gone to visit Walter's dear old father, Joseph Matthews, who was quite a gentleman. At that time he was sick in bed and the minister, Rev. Anderson, had come to visit him. Mr. Matthews had been reading his Bible where St. Paul said "I die daily," and he couldn't understand why Paul was dying every day. He said, "Rev. Anderson I have a question to ask you and I want you to answer me. What did Paul mean when he said, 'I die daily'?" The minister answered him saying, "St. Paul was a wonderful writer. He could write faster than he could think." His reply was that brief and he just laughed it off.  He had failed to explain that the dying that Paul was talking about was dying to the "self" nature in us.  Praise God for the Holy Spirit who opens our blind eyes and sets the captive free. If it were not for the grace of God we would still be blind.

******************

My Search

Now, God came through for me again. I pulled myself together for the sake of my two precious young people. I did have something to live for. One of my first thoughts was to buy a prayer book from the minister so that we could read prayers in the morning. I taught the girls to pray - "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee Lord my soul to keep," and so on. Then I started to save a little extra money for the minister. Where I had been giving ten or twenty-five cents, I now gave fifty cents. That may not seem like much now, but a widow only received five dollars a month. It came as a fifteen-dollar cheque every three months. That was not much with two children to raise. But, thank the Lord, we didn't have to live off that alone. Like lots of poor widows in that day, my husband had been a shareholder in the schooner and they always shared alike, the man with the large family the same as the one with the small one. My brothers-in-law were very good to us and we all shared from the same barrel. That's what I call real brothers.

The family really looked after the children and me. In the winter time Walter's mother, Catherine and I would close our house and live with Sam and Rachel Ann Matthews. It was hard for them to get wood to keep both houses going. In the spring, we would go back to my own house. We did this year after year.

During this time I remember how much of a blessing the sewing machine was to us. It was the last thing Walter had bought me. I stayed with the Matthews family for five years after he died. I used to sew and make garments for most of the people on the Island. Sometimes I used to wish I could learn to say no to the ones who came, but I couldn't and was never able to work myself out of a job no matter how hard I tried.

This has often reminded me of Dorcas, the widow in the Bible. She made garments for her neighbours and when she died they sent for Peter. The other widows stood around showing all the garments Dorcas had made for them while she was alive. Then, Peter sent them out and turning to the body he said, "Dorcas arise." Then she opened her eyes and Peter took her by the hand and lifted her up.

About this time I started to read my Bible more. I had heard of a woman on Fair Island who had read her Bible through, so I thought I can do that too. I was trying to do all the good works I could to get closer to God. It was years later I learned that this was not the way. The Bible says we must be born-again, or we cannot enter the kingdom of God. Our good works and good living cannot earn us a place in Heaven since it is only through the blood of Jesus.

**************

Invitation to Glovertown

At the end of that five-year period, I received a letter from Hedley Sparks from Glovertown. He was asking if I would come and keep house for him. I had never met him, but someone had told him about me. His wife had died ten years earlier and left him with two daughters and a son. After talking with my people about it, I agreed to give it a try. I wrote him back and told him I could not make any promises, since he had children and so did I and this would make a difference. When I got Dorothy and Rita ready to go, Grandmother Matthews said it was going to be too hard for all of us to leave at one time. She wanted me to leave Dorothy with her for a while until I got settled, then if I decided to stay she could come too. So we talked it over with Dorothy and she was willing. It was very much home for her and Aunt Rachel Ann was like a grandmother to her.  With the promise that they would bring her later, I agreed. After I arrived in Glovertown, we kept in touch and later they brought her to me.

We had been there a few months and Dorothy and Rita had started to settle in, then we heard from Susie, Rachel Ann's daughter. She had been teaching that year and was going home to visit her parents. She wanted to see Dorothy and asked me to take her to the train to meet her, so she could take her to the Island. Susie promised to return Dorothy to me in a few days. After that visit, they won Dorothy over and she didn't want to come back. This brought me great disappointment and I couldn't feel happy being separated from her. I knew she was being well looked after but that didn't bring me any comfort.

Mr. Sparks was a very nice man and pleasant to live with, so that helped a lot. Up to that point I had set my heart never to get married again. My whole life was wrapped around Dorothy and Rita, they were all I lived for.

It was during this time Ralph was born. I know he was a gift from God to me. I have proven that over the years. He was about six months old when I decided to leave Glovertown. No definite plans as to how or exactly when were made. No promises were made or broken to Mr. Sparks. Edgar, his son, would say to me, "Please, Mrs. Matthews, don't go until I am finished school." So, in June he finished school and later went to St. John's. Shirley and Josephine, the two daughters, were teenagers now and Shirley was spending most of her time in St. John's. My thoughts were to go back and set up my own house again, as I had most of my things back there. I think it was about two years or more I spent in Glovertown.

One day Uncle Elias Collins, my mother's brother, came to visit me. He came by motor boat and I got ready and went with them. They took me back to the Island where my mother and father were on the wharf with open arms, as if they had been expecting us. They were so happy to have us back again as a family. Later I went over to my own house as I had planned, but I was in for a big disappointment. It nearly broke my heart as I walked out and closed the door never to go back again. I just couldn't handle the memories.

*******************

Newport

Later, Edgar Collins came to visit me.  His wife had died and he had built a house for himself and his daughter, Violet, at Newport. Rosie, his youngest daughter, had been adopted. He wanted me to go with him and seeing I was left in the midst of nowhere, I decided to go. Edgar really loved me and wanted to get married. I made it clear that if I could love him it would have to grow, as I never had love for another man after my husband died. I had also realized, I could not live on the Island, because of the flood of sad memories.

Newport was a place dear to my heart, since I had spent a lot of my childhood there and those sweet memories helped me to settle in. Dorothy came down for a while, but she was not content and again returned to the Island. It seemed as if nothing could separate her from her birthplace. After she finished school she went to St. John's to work and was there until she got married.

*******************

Wedding Bells Again

However, on June seventeenth, nineteen forty six, Edgar and I got married. Just ten years after my first marriage.

There are pleasant memories too of those days in Newport. I can recall visits from my Grandfather Collins, who was nearly eighty years old. He would come often and tell me stories about the good old days on the Labrador and so on. Maybe I have a streak of him in me for telling stories. It certainly didn't come from my parents, since they never talked about the past. It is only in these later years I have been finding out about my ancestors. Of course, too, as children we never asked questions. Things like that was of little interest to us then.

Our house, a neat little place, was located right near Salt Water Pond. From there, boats could cross to the other side, which was close to firewood and places for berry picking.

To make a living, Edgar and a neighbour, Johnny Collins, had a factory for canning lobster and salmon on the other side of the harbour, at a place called Easter Brook. Jessie Collins was their buyer and he would ship their products to market. The fish was canned in flat, one pound cans. That first summer they did well and he brought home a case of each for ourselves for the winter. Sometimes he would come home at night with a choice piece of fresh salmon,  which we would fry up for a late night snack.

*******************

The Fire

Betty, our third daughter, was born in Newport on April 3, 1947. Jessie Collins’ mother, Aunt Alice Collins, was the midwife when she was born. It was four months later we had the big fire. Let me go back now to my school days, to tell you first about the Blessed Saviour's Letter, because in my memory that letter was significant.

While I was still in school, I had received a letter from one of my friends. Each of us children got a copy. It was called The Blessed Saviour's Letter. I don't know where it came from originally, but we cherished it. We always had great faith in it, since it was supposed to have been written by our Lord. It was strange that we knew there was a God, but to us He was far off somewhere and we could not reach Him. But we had great faith in the letter and wherever we went the letter went with us. It was tucked in my trunk before I went to Labrador.

The letter read something like this:

The Blessed Saviour's Letter

It was found in Iconium on a rock round and large. Written on the rock were the words: "Blessed is he who turns me over. Many tried to turn the rock over but in vain.

One day a little boy came along and without any assistance turned it over...

It may have been written prior to the time Jesus was crucified, because it said that all work had to be finished on Saturday, which was the preparation for the Sabbath. (We had been taught that Sunday was the Sabbath).  My parents always lived up to that one. All work was done Saturday to prepare us for Sunday. Without realizing it, we were practising the law and we were not born-again.

Many things in the letter I have forgotten, but it went on to say that he who had the letter - no fire or pestilence would come near their dwelling and the person would be safe in child birth . . .

When I became a born-again Christian and knew Jesus in reality, I lost all interest in the letter. I realize now that it was not the Bible we had put our faith in, it was the letter. During those days it seemed to work for us. I don't remember ever taking the Bible, but that letter was always with me. I can recall feeling so secure having it in my trunk during my trip to Labrador, thinking it would keep my faith up during the storms.

As I look back now, I want to thank God for my parents, because they did live up to the knowledge they had and I believe someday I will see them and we'll talk it over.

So, that summer we had a raging forest fire that had been burning around us for days. We knew we were safe for the moment, unless the wind changed. There were ships outside the harbour and boats had come down from Silver Fox Island ready to evacuate the people if necessary. Some people had their things all packed and put down by the water. The fire was getting closer, when suddenly the wind did change and was blowing a storm and we had to run for our lives. I couldn't find my coat and finally rushed on without it. (After the fire, I did find it hung on Aunt Charlotte's  fence. I must have dropped it and someone must have found it and put it there).

That evening, before I left, the last thing I did in the house was to pin up The Blessed Saviour's Letter in the dining room.  Betty was a baby then and I held her in my arms and the other children ran along with me. We managed to get into a boat and cross to the other side of the harbour. It was a dreadful sight. It was just like being in a furnace, with the fire burning all around the harbour.

When we reached the other side, George Wicks was there with their larger boat. Maggie Collins gave me her coat to wear for the trip up to the Island. We got on board George's boat and headed out. He had a canvas house on his boat and going through the narrow part of the harbour they had to water it down, for fear it would catch on fire.

When we reached the Island, my mother and lots of other people were waiting for us. There was another boat that had followed us and the first words I heard when they landed, was that our house was the first one to be burned. But I didn't accept it. I didn't say anything to anybody about it, but I knew in my heart it was not gone.

Edgar had stayed behind with some of the other men to fight the fire and to try and save what they could. There were several houses burned that day, along with houses on both sides of ours. It came close enough to ours to burn the shores supporting it, but they managed to put it out. I had a little cabbage garden near the house and every head of cabbage was scorched, but after a while the cabbage recovered and it was edible.

However, thank God for His protection, when we returned everything in our house was undamaged. During this time another family, John Collins and his mom, stayed with us for a few days.

*******************

Mom's Farewell

Maggie was born on December 15, 1948, also at Newport. She was just three months old when my mother died. She was 52 years old and this happened on the 28 of March, my father's birthday. John, my brother, came to get me in the morning and I took Maggie and went up to the Island with him. When we arrived, Mom was in a coma. She had been lying there in the bed for two or three days. She was looking at us so intensely and her breathing was very laboured. I wish I knew then what I know now, I could have talked to her even though she couldn't respond and she may have understood everything we said. As she looked at us, we felt she wanted to say something and  couldn't. At the break of daylight, while John and I were watching her, I saw one of her eyes blink and we thought she was coming out of the coma. Later in the evening while I was in the kitchen preparing supper, someone said she was calling me, but before I got to her she was gone.

All during my growing up I had never seen my mother sick. She had complained, just earlier, about a pain in her side and we had encouraged her to go see a doctor. After her death, I heard she had gone to the Brookfield hospital and the doctors there had  operated. They kept her in the hospital for two days and then sent her home. After this she started to hemorrhage and went into the coma. They had gone to get the doctor, but before he arrived she was gone. She was only 52 years old. We never did find out what the operation was all about. My father died in January 1965 at the age of eighty-three, at Hare Bay. I don't remember the exact date.

Confederation came and our people were encouraged to leave small outports and move to larger centres. They were scattered here and there, uprooted and never to have that same togetherness again.

Walter, my second son,  was born on the Island, in my brother, John's, house, on July 9, 1950. There was no midwife in Newport at the time and Aunt Julia Feltham performed this duty up there. He was a strong healthy boy. I can remember leading him along by the hand, when he was about two years old, as we were leaving Newport to move to Hare Bay.

***************

Move to Hare Bay

Shortly after Confederation, all the people were encouraged to move from the islands, to any place of their choice on the mainland. Most people got paid by the government, for moving, but we had already moved and didn't receive anything. Jessie Collins was moving and Cecil, Edgar's brother had already launched his house up to Dover. Edgar went along with Cecil and met Uncle Tom Collins, in Dover, who told him he would give us a piece of land, since I was related to him.

So, Edgar came home and started to take the clapboard off the house to get ready to move and I started to cry. We didn't have a boat of our own or any source of transportation and here we are bound for Dover. Cecil was going up again the next day and we went with them to stay overnight. I went over to Uncle Tom's to see the land and I didn't like the place at all.

I knew Uncle Danny Elkins from Hare Bay and I wondered if he would sell me a piece of land. The next day I went to see him and he agreed.  I paid him Thirty-five dollars for the land. I know now that this was the leading of the Lord, to place me close to that little church, which He planned to call me into in later years, in His timing. As I look back I am thankful we didn't have to settle in Dover. I never would have been happy there and probably would not have received the born-again experience, since it did not have a church that preached the full Gospel. All our tomorrows are known to Him.

Doors began to open for us. Johnny Collins and his mother were now living in Hare Bay and asked us to move in with them, until our house was built. My brother, John, came down to Newport and took all our belongings up to Hare Bay in his boat. Edgar then returned to dismantle the house. The next problem was to get the lumber up to the new site. Edgar wanted me to go up to the Island to ask the Matthews family to take our lumber up with them, when they went to do their wood cutting. This was difficult for me to do, but I did approach Skipper Sam but he didn't give me a plain answer. However, they did it anyway, bless their hearts. That was a real blessing to us.

Now, Edgar was able to get started. He built a large two story house, using every available man that came along. He was that type, if he didn't know how to do something, he would get someone else to help. After a few months it was finished, at least enough for us to move in. Before we left Newport, Voilet had already finished school and had moved to Gander to work.

Now we were settled in Hare Bay and there were going to be lots of changes. We had heard, that after a while, we were going to have our own phone, then later we would get electric lights. The children would be getting a $6.00 per month Baby Bonus. Then we heard that the men would get unemployment insurance, if they could not find work. All this was almost too much to digest and we couldn't believe what we were hearing. However, gradually it came our way. When we settled in Hare Bay, there were no roads, just paths from house to house. Now our men would be working on the roads. A new one was going to be built to Gander and a new hospital was going to be built there.

Toni was born in Gander, in the old Army hospital on the Crash Ward on March 14, 1957. Kevin was born in the new James Paton Memorial Hospital, on January 27, in 1959. By this time the new road was open to Gander and we had a taxi operating out of Hare Bay. Residents were buying their own cars and things were changing fast.

After a couple of years, our church was built in Hare Bay. The good old Church of England, as we used to call it, was renamed Anglican. Now we thought we had it all together and we felt quite at home in our new community.

*************

He Called My Name

Then, one night we entered the Pentecostal church, for the first time. Their little church was just up the road from where we lived. Well, I heard and saw strange things that night. There was a lady up at the altar praying for her healing. I just looked on in wonder, having never seen anything like this before.

The pastor started to preach about being born-again, water baptism, being baptised in the Holy Spirit, the First Resurrection and that the Lord was coming back to take His people away to Heaven to be with Him forever. I had never heard of such things. All we had ever heard of was the Judgement Day. I couldn't help but believe what the pastor was saying, but it was too much for me to take and when I left I said, I will never go back to that place again.

Their pastor, at that time, was Pastor Snow and he came down to visit me. As we talked, I remember explaining to him, that as far as I was concerned there was only one God and it didn't matter what church you belonged to. He saw he was not getting anywhere with me and he left. After a few days he came back again and started another conversation. I said, "Pastor, we are Church of England people and stiff necked, it would take something to separate us from our church. His reply was, "I know, but once you get one of those you really have something."  How many times since have we heard that over and over.

We continued to go to our own church, but would slip into the Pentecostal services after ours were finished. We would arrive there sometimes during a red hot after-service. By this time I was under conviction and didn't understand what was going on. When I got out of the services, I would breathe a sigh of relief and say I will never go back to that place again. After a while, something would draw me back again and later I felt I would like to go up to the altar. However, I was afraid that if I got saved in that church, I would have to leave my own church and that I would never do. Of course God knows our thoughts and He has a way in doing things.

One night, while Pastor Snow was preaching, he said, "You don't have to come to this church, get saved and God will show you where to go." I knew he was talking to me, because that was just what I wanted to hear. I got saved that night, with the intention of going back to my own church. I still loved my church and my people. In fact, I didn't know I loved them so much, until the Lord began to call me out. However, it didn't take long until I knew where God wanted me to go. The news soon spread that I had been saved in the Pentecostal church and when I returned to our own church the minister preached against me. Then all my friends turned against me and even my husband. There was division in our home, but the children stood with me.

*************

Trial of Faith

There was a price to pay in those days, to be a Christian. However, He had told us in His Word, that He would never allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able to bear, but with the temptation will always make a way of escape. He also warned, that a man's foes would be those of his own household. I had a love for Jesus in my heart and was willing to pay the price, to get out to hear His Word. The Word of the Lord was precious in those days and the more I heard the more I wanted.

My husband tried desperately to keep me away from the church, but God had his hand on my life and He always made a way when there seemed to be no way. On one occasion, the Pastor announced the start of six o'clock prayer meetings in the morning. Oh, how my heart longed to go and I said, Lord, if you will make a way for me to go, I will be faithful to You. My husband tried to stop me each time, but I would sneak out of bed and go anyway. My friend, Louise Wells, was going through the same problem and, if there was no other way, she would climb through her window to get out of the house. We didn't miss a morning. I would be back to light the fire, prepare breakfast for the children and get them off to school on time.

A few times my husband went to church with me, but it was just to criticize. Sometimes I stayed home just to please him but that didn't help. Satan was using him in every way and the more I prayed the worst things got. When I got out to the church to receive His Word, He gave me strength and patience to overcome all the trials that life would bring.

Soon there was going to be a Water Baptism Service. I had never attended one before. That morning, at the church, we were singing the hymn: "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord, I'll be what you want me to be."  The Pastor said, "It's one thing to sing this, but to do it is another thing." It was a real challenge to me.

While we were eating dinner that day, Betty asked, "Mom, are you going to go through the water?" I said, "I didn't know." To this, her father replied, "No!" Then he went out to lock the porch door. I didn't answer a word, but I wanted to go so bad, so I went to the hall and got my coat. The back door was open and I walked as fast as I could toward the church. When I was up a distance, I looked  back and he was following me, so I hurried on and got into the church. We walked from there to the other side of the bay, to a place called Nealers Beach, where the Baptism service was to be held. By this time, there were already lots of people gathered along the beach and lots of boats had come from all around to watch. When my turn came, it was no burden for me to go through the water that day; I felt the hand of the Lord.

When it was over, we returned to the house and a friend came back with us. We had supper and then returned to church for the night service. Things went well up to that point, but when I returned after the service, he lashed out at me. He told me he had tried to stop the Pastor from baptising me, but neither the Pastor nor I knew about that. Praise the Lord! He is so wonderful. He doeth all things well.

I wanted to go to his church sometimes, just to keep the peace, but all the children, one by one, began going to the Pentecostal church. Of course this upset him even more.

At this time, Dorothy was working in St. John's and she came home to visit. Dad was confident she wouldn't follow us since she was a staunch follower of the good old Church of England faith. However, she did go out to church with me and got saved. Thank you,Father.

I remember prior to Toni being born, I had asked the Lord if it was His will for me to leave my church. My own desire was to bring my children up Pentecostal. When I asked Him that, I did not know the price I would have to pay. Nine months later, when she arrived, I can recall the longing in my heart, to give her to the Lord. Her father declared she would never be dedicated at that Pentecostal church. I didn't object, whatever the Lord desired, was what I wanted. I made a little christening dress for her and had it ready for the occasion. I didn't tell anybody what was in my heart.

One Monday, Edgar was going up to the Post Office to pick up the mail and he met our Minister, Rev. Moss, from the Anglican church.  He asked him if he would come down to the house and christen our baby. I was so surprised, because as a rule we had always taken our children to the church to be christened. However, I didn't question them, but at that moment my request to the Lord came to my memory. I was not sure the Lord had acknowledged my prayer, so I said nothing and dismissed the thought. I went to the bedroom, got the dress and put it on the baby and she was ready.

Then, my husband said to the minister, "My wife goes to the Pentecostal church," he said, "they are only Quakers." The minister then asked if I was confirmed. Edgar said, "Yes, she is all that she could be in the church." He next questioned Edgar, asking if he was confirmed and my husband explained he was not, because when the Bishop came around, he was away from home. Rev. Moss then explained we were to have godparents to see to it that the child was brought up in the faith. Edgar agreed, but added, "Rev. Moss, maybe when the child grows up, she may turn Roman Catholic."

He then turned to me and said, "Do you know that when you were christened you received the Holy Spirit and when you were confirmed, that was the infilling of the Holy Spirit?" This was the first time I had ever heard that. "But," I said, "Rev. Moss, I believe in the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues, as the Bible says."  Well, that was the straw that broke the camels back. He turned to Edgar and said, "I can't christen her without permission from the Bishop."

Edgar said, "Mr. Moss, where do I fit in this case. I am the head of the home, as Christ is head over his church."  The minister then asked me what my desire would be. I spoke right out of my heart, I said, "Rev. Moss, if it were my choice, I would have her brought up Pentecostal."

This, of course, made him angry. He picked up his hat and looked at me and said bluntly, "I came here for information, not instruction." (I guess, referring to my statement earlier about the Holy Spirit). If he had pierced my heart through, I couldn't have felt any worse. I was left there with Toni in my arms, speechless. Dad walked up the road with him and on the way he said, "That was the hardest home I have ever been in." The only time I had opened my mouth, while he was there, was to answer the two questions he had asked me. I was really hurt to think that I had offended the minister, because we reverenced them as God. Little  did I know then that God was there that day and answered my prayer. Thank you, Jesus.

After a couple of weeks of healing, it finally became clear to me that God had answered my prayer. If He had not, I would have lost confidence and would not know where I stood with God. After leaving my church and causing division in my home, I knew I couldn't bear that alone. When I saw His answer clearly, I knew my calling out had been of God. Bless His Holy name; He does not make mistakes.

Anyway, we waited a month or so for an answer from the Bishop, but it didn't come. This upset Dad and he went to Pierce Burton to get him to write a letter to the Bishop explaining what the minister had done to him. We waited another month and still not a word from the Bishop. This made Dad angry and then he left his church forever.

One Sunday night he asked me to go up to the United Church with him and I did, willingly, to keep the peace not knowing what he had in mind. After the service was over, he called the minister aside and gave him some money. He asked him if he would come down to our home and christen our baby. He told him the story of what Rev. Moss had done to him, explaining in detail about having to get the permission from the Bishop  because his wife was going to the Pentecostal Church. The United Church minister said he would do it, but would have to talk to Rev. Moss first, because he couldn't understand why he had refused.

This took two or three more weeks of waiting. So, one Sunday I said to him, "It looks like the United Church minister has let you down too. What do we do now? If Toni should die without a name we will never forgive ourselves."  He said, "I don't care what you do now." So that afternoon I sent and asked Pastor Hoddinott, our new pastor, if he would come down and dedicate Toni. Of course he already knew the problem and was praying much about it. This was his first year in ministry and Toni was the first baby he dedicated.

***************

His Touch

Years have gone by now and God still has His hand on Toni. I believe He will bring her forth as pure gold. Later, that same year, Pastor Hoddinott prayed for her for a problem with her ears and the Lord healed her instantly.

There were so many things that I could relate to during Toni's upbringing. Actually, this miracle for Toni was the first miraculous healing that took place in our home.

Toni had been crying almost all through the night and no matter what I did nothing seemed to help. We really didn't know what the problem was. Her father said, "You must take her to the doctor in the morning."

I got up that morning and started to get her ready to go to Gander to see the doctor. Then the Holy Spirit began working in my heart concerning faith. One scripture after another on faith  was coming to my mind. There was nobody in the house at the time and Toni,  exhausted from being up all night, fell asleep. Then the thought came to my mind to call Pastor Hoddinott to come down and pray for her. He came and I will never forget as he held her up in his hands to the Lord and prayed. When He finished, both of her ears broke loose and pus ran down both sides of her face. Toni never had an earache again until she was twelve years old. This incident is related later.

*******************

Freedom From Tradition

Our name was still on the books at the Anglican Church and a year or so later, Rev. Moss came back to visit us. At this time, Betty and Maggie were at the age to be Confirmed. The Bishop was coming soon and he was talking to them about Confirmation. By this time, both Maggie and Betty had given their hearts to the Lord. Maggie's teacher was also her godmother and was responsible in seeing that she was Confirmed. She had a white dress already bought for her. Now, this put me in another hard place.

One day, while cleaning my kitchen floor, this thought came to my mind for the first time: What is Confirmation anyway? What was the advantage of it?  I came to the conclusion, that it had no advantage for me. I got my Bible out and started to search, but couldn't find anything on the subject. The Word says we must be born-again and you cannot enter the Kingdom of God without it. So I talked it over with the children and they took their stand for the Lord and decided against it. That seemed to end it. Rev. Moss never came to visit us again and our names were removed from their books. Thank the Dear Lord, all things work together for good for them that are called according to His purpose.

I had always loved my Anglican church and never missed a Sunday when I could help it. If away from home and couldn't get to my own, I would attend a Roman Catholic church. It didn't matter, as I thought, there was only one God. After my second marriage at Newport, I would often visit the Salvation Army. Hearing some of the testimonies in that church would often bring tears to my eyes. There was always a hunger in my heart for something more.

*******************

New Teaching

Regarding our Church of England faith and foundation this is what I had been taught as a child:

The Apostles Creed.

I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth;

And in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord,

Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

Born of the Virgin Mary,

Suffered under Pontius Pilate,

Was crucified, dead and buried.

He descended into Hell, on the third day rose again from the dead, ascended into Heaven and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty, thence, He will come to judge the quick and the dead;

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. Amen.

Now, while all this is true and there is nothing wrong with it - according to scripture, there is a whole lot left out. For example:

Repent and be baptized in water for the remission of sins. This is a command of the Lord.

Baptism in the Holy Spirit, a gift from God.

Healing and miracles.

The first resurrection and the rapture of the church.

Christ returning for His Bride.

When Jesus went back to Heaven after His resurrection, He said he would send us the Comforter, the Holy Spirit. He would teach us all things and bring all things to our remembrance.

While He was on earth, He picked his disciples and trained them and after He went back to Heaven.  Then He sent the Holy Spirit and filled them with power. He gave them authority over all the power of the Devil. He told them to go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature, saying, He that believeth and is baptised shall be saved, he that believeth not shall be damned. Scripture says they went everywhere preaching the Word and signs followed.

******************

Folks are asking every day,

to what church do you belong?

I answer, there is only one,

I think your question is wrong.

You mean - what denomination?

and I answer, non.

I am a member of the Body of Christ,

God's Son.

You cannot join His body,

you are added by the Lord.

Denominations are another thing,

you join them with a card.

The church, which is Christ's body,

demands to be born-again.

You join a denomination and simply shake

the preachers hand.

Let's forget denominations and recognize one faith,

and as one body, stand together

I plead for Jesus sake.

If we are regenerated and washed in the

blood of Jesus,

there would be no division.

We are all one in the Fathers sight.

Amen.

*******************

His Gift

Praise God, after Confederation and our resettlement in Hare Bay, He brought it to pass. In that little Pentecostal Church I found what I had been looking for. Now I have His Word in my heart and Satan cannot take it from me. God has been so good to me and has proven Himself in many, many ways. Praise His Holy name forever.

My heart was now ready to receive greater blessings and anointing from the Lord. I was hungry for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. One night, while I was about six months pregnant with Kevin, I walked up to the altar and raised my hand to receive from the Lord the beautiful infilling of His Spirit. It was and is, a wonderful gift from the Lord as He promised. I am looking forward to His coming, when He will take us home.

*************************

He Sent His Word

On January 24, 1959 Kevin was born. Things were different now. On Easter Sunday Morning, Dad went to the Pentecostal Church with me and we had him dedicated to the Lord. Oh, how I praise and thank Him for His faithfulness to His children. He never fails, He comes through every time and He said He would never leave us nor forsake us. He is as close to us as our breath.

Kevin was four months old, on the May 24th holiday. Dad had planned to take the children up to Cat Bay for a boat ride and to do some fishing. I had been feeling sick all that night, but I got up in the morning hoping to fight it off. Dad and Walter were in the boat getting it ready and Betty and Maggie were doing dishes. Little Kevin was beside me in his crib. I was getting worst now by the minute and had to go and lie down on the daybed. Ralph was standing by and I asked him to get me a blanket. I began to get terribly sick, in fact, I thought I was dying. Cold chills and high fever hit me like a severe storm. I knew I couldn't wait for a doctor and I was too sick to pray. I felt in my heart that if someone would come and pray the prayer of faith, I would get up off that bed. I said to Ralph, "If Pastor Hoddinott were here this morning I would have him pray for me." He said, "Why don't we get him Mom." and I explained to him that the pastor was not at home. Then I asked him to go and get Luther Wilkins, a brother from the church. It wasn't long before Luther came. Within a minute after he prayed, I was up and praising and thanking the Lord. To tell you the truth it was one of the happiest days of my life and I will never forget that experience. By this time all the children were ready and off they went with their father in the boat.

Rita and Norm, her husband, were going away that day and someone told her that I was sick. So she cancelled her trip and came running down. "Mom I heard you were sick."  I said, "Don't worry about Mom now, the Lord has healed me." But Rita couldn't take it for granted and before long she was back again.  I was upstairs making the beds when she came calling out, "Mom, where are you?" I said, "I'm OK Rita."  She insisted I take Toni and Kevin and come up with her.  Norm was making dinner. I agreed to do that, as soon as I got my clothes washed and on the line. I'll tell you work was no burden for me that day. I was thinking there was nobody on a holiday that day as happy as I was. I phoned all my friends and told them what the Lord had done and they cried and rejoiced with me.

After returning from Rita's, I tidied up the house, did the ironing and prepared supper, in time for the children's return. Their father had not known what went on earlier that morning and when he returned from the trip he left to visit a friend. About twelve o'clock that night, he returned and brought a friend back with him. After making them a coffee and while they were sipping their bottle of beer, I told them about the sickness and the healing. It didn't seem to get through to my husband, but his friend had tears running down his face.

No sooner than I had got into bed that night, I took very sick again. Now, I thought this is the end, all hope is gone! I felt as if I had let the Lord down by telling everyone that He had healed me. Now, it was all back again and oh, how desperate I felt! There was nowhere else to turn. While lying there, in that condition, God came through again and met me at my point of need. He gave me a verse of Scripture, which I did not know was in the Bible: "Resist the Devil and he will flee from you."  Well, I didn't know that the Devil was a real person, for one thing. I was just a babe in Christ and His Word was still new to me. God knew this and this time, He helped me resist the Devil. Then, a beautiful peace settled over me and I fell asleep.

I awoke the next morning praising the Lord. Later, by searching the Word, I found that verse and since then He has given me many more. When God gives me a scripture verse now, I think of Jesus and how He resisted the enemy by using scripture. It's no wonder we can sing, "What a wonderful change in my life, since Jesus came in."  He makes all the difference, by removing the scales from our eyes. I will praise Him forever.

*******************

Uncle Bill

My Aunt Emily and Uncle Bill Rogers never attended church. But I remember in the later years, after I had become a born-again Christian, my Uncle Bill came to our house for the very first time. He was sick at that time and he asked if I would take him up to the Pentecostal Church for the pastor to pray for him. I could hardly believe what I was hearing! However, I took him up to the church and called the pastor aside and explained his need to him.  He had never been inside a Pentecostal church before. I walked to the altar with him and Pastor Hoddinott anointed him with oil and prayed for him. Praise the Lord, he received his healing! From that day forward I would see Uncle Bill going up to his own church for as long as he was able to walk. He always said that, "When that man prayed - something happened to me."  I had the privilege of praying with him and Aunt Emily several times before they passed on. I would like to have been there at the time of their passing, but I was living in Toronto at that time. Later, I did go to visit their son, Pearce and we talked about the miracle of healing God had done for his father.

In the Big City

Sometime during the sixties, while living in Toronto, the Lord gave me this verse: "No weapon formed against you shall prosper." One night, while entertaining some friends, I decided to get up and prepare some food. While getting up from the chesterfield, I felt a sharp pain in my knee. It wasn't too bad, so I finished the lunch and later went to bed, thinking it will be gone once I get some sleep. The next morning I was in for a surprise, because the knee was severely swollen and painful. Fear gripped my heart, but I kept praying and looking to the Lord. I could hop around and manage to do my work, for which I was thankful.

Now, there was a real battle going on inside me. I was trusting the Lord, but fear was causing me to doubt. There was no one to talk with, to draw encouragement from because I didn't have any close friends in the city. My closest friend in the area, was twenty miles away and finally I called and  shared the problem with her. Her advice was to go to the doctor and this made me more discouraged than ever. Then I went to my bedroom to pray and pour my heart out to the Lord. I did my best to trust His Word, knowing that the trying of my faith worked patience.

The next morning there was no change in the knee. It was swollen and scaling hot. In fear and trembling, I managed to get through another day doing the housework and preparing supper in time for the boys return home. I thank the Lord for His help that day. The following day the big test came. Walter and his dad had gone to work and Kevin and Toni were in school. We didn't have a car and to get groceries I usually took my grocery cart and walked about fifteen minutes to a grocery store. On Wednesdays I would go up to Brimley Road for bread and meats and Friday in another direction for the remainder of the groceries. This was during the very cold time of the winter and with the knee still swollen, I wondered whether I could make it. In the name of the Lord I ventured out with the cart and made it up to Brimley Road and back. The knee was swollen worse than ever when I got back and the chill seemed to have gone right through me. After sitting by the heater for a while, I was finally able to unpack the groceries and managed to prepare supper for another day.

The next day there was no change, but I kept trusting God, knowing He never fails. While standing at the sink that morning this thought came to my mind: No weapon formed against you will prosper.  Somehow, from that thought I received the assurance, that my knee was going to improve and I felt a little better. Without fully realizing the scripture had been from the Lord, I kept on working and didn't think much more about it. The following morning, the scripture came to my mind again, as if the Lord was making sure to get through to me. Then I started to wonder if the thought was really a verse from the Bible. I was still not very familiar with the scriptures at that time, so I phoned my son-in-law, Ray and asked him if it was a verse from the Bible.

Ray had me wait a minute while he looked it up and returned to tell me it was and gave me where it was found. Then I wrote it on the cover of my Bible. From that hour the knee got better. Oh, how I praise and thank Him. He is always there when I need Him.

Every time I sense there is a test to go through, I remind the Lord of the words He gave me and I claim His promise. He said in His Word: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Bless His Holy Name, He is all that His Word says He is and I shall never thank Him enough for what He has done for me. Thank you Jesus, I love you.

He helped me yesterday,

today He will do the same.

How long will this remain?

Forever, praise His name.

*******************

His Protection

One rainy, dull morning, after Kevin had left for school, a knock came on the door. I answered it, to see a tall man standing there with Kevin. He said, "Is this your son?" I stood there speechless with fright, not knowing what was coming next. Finally, I said, "Yes." He said, "Kevin was crossing the street and I was turning the corner and I hit him." Kevin looked as if he were in shock. The man had explained he was a doctor and as we examined him, all we could find was a slight red mark on one of his ribs. The man recommended that I take Kevin to another doctor for further examination, but Kevin assured us that he was all right. The doctor then left me his phone number and told me to call him if there were any problems.

Kevin went to school the next day and assured me that he was fine. The third day however, he started to complain that his side was hurting. When I phoned the man back his wife answered and seemed to be upset because I had not taken him to a doctor before. I explained that I had not felt it necessary until today because her husband had examined him the day Kevin was hit and was feeling fine until now. She told me to take him to a doctor and send her the bill.

A doctor examined him and said there was a minor complication and upon his recommendation, I took him back for three more visits before he gave his approval. When I received the bill of $23.00, I sent it to the man who hit him and they sent me back a cheque for $50.00. Now I was quite concerned since I had only expected $23.00 to cover the bill, so it really bothered me. After thinking about it for a while I decided to cash the cheque to pay the bill and then send the man back the remainder. Again I thanked my Heavenly Father, who watches over my children.

I took the cheque to the bank to cash and the tiller gave me the change.  I went from there to pay a bill at the doctor's office and then to get some spray paint at a nearby hardware store. After the clerk at the hardware store gave me back the change, I suddenly realized there was ten dollars missing. When I asked the clerk, if she had ten dollars extra, she said she would have to wait until the cash was counted at four o'clock. When no phone call came at four o'clock, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me, since that money was very much needed. I thought of phoning  the bank and the doctor's office, but I was reluctant since it seemed so hopeless. Then the thought came to me to draw a promise. The one I took at random was from Exodus 17:5, where in the version I had it reads, ...the Lord said to Moses, "Go on." I felt as if the words of this promise were directing me to go on and make the call. So I called the doctor's office, asking if it was possible that they had made a mistake when giving me back my change earlier that day. The lady said, "Mrs. Collins, we just counted our money and we are ten dollars over, no doubt it's yours."

I believe God will allow some things like this to happen, to show us how close He is to us. He's always there when we need Him.

When Ralph was in his late teens, he went to Gambo one night with some of his friends in a pickup truck.  On the way home, the three boys in the cab were drinking and when the truck hit a bad spot in the road the driver lost control.  The truck rolled over and dumped Ralph and the other two boys, who was in back of the pickup, onto the road.  The truck continued to roll until it was back on its wheeles again and then, facing the opposite direction, drove out into a bog.  Ralph had fallen with the load of material that was in the back of the truck and was pinned to the ground by two large boulders.  Also, the corner of a heavy sled had pierced the jacket he was wearing and bruised his ribs.  The other two were thrown clear and received cuts on the face and hands when they hit the gravel.  The three in the cab were shaken up and bruised but otherwise no serious injuries.  All admitted that they had just experienced an absolute miracle.  Ralph knew and confessed often, that his mother's prayers was all that spared their lives that night.

On another occasion Ralph had an accident while playing and fell from the ceiling of a storage shed.  He landed on one side of his head and bruised his knee.  The blow to the head knocked him unconscious. There were no doctors in Hare Bay at that time and all I could do was pray.  By the time he reached home his neck looked as if were broken.  At that moment someone informed me that there was a doctor who happened to be visiting a few houses away.  I took him there and the doctor examined him and meanwhile, I prayed.  After an examination the doctor sent us home and said to simply rest and see what happens.  After a day or so the bruised knee healed and Ralph has never had a problem with his neck since.  God watches over his children!

Maggie was hit by a car on the way to school one day.  Her leg still has a lump as a reminder. Again, God protected my child. Thank you Father for answered prayer.

*******************

1970

He is Faithful

When Toni was twelve years old, she started to put up a battle to stay home from church. This was a severe trial for me and much stress. I always wanted to be on time when a friend came to pick us up and I wanted to be in the church on time. During this trial the Lord gave me this promise: "All things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." This was hard to accept at this time, because I related it to the situation with Toni and couldn't understand how refusing to go to church could ever "work together for good." To me it was so much unlike God, for a person not to want to go to church. However, I accepted it as from the Lord and wrote it on the cover of my Bible.

About eleven o'clock one night Toni started to cry with an earache. As the time went on that night, the pain became more severe. I started to pray and it seemed the more I prayed the worst the pain got. By this time she was screaming as loud as one could scream. We were living in an apartment then and I was expecting a knock on the door any moment from someone trying to find out what was going on. I kept on praying and crying out to God for help. I prayed in agony until my strength was almost gone. Then the battle was won and the pain stopped.

I mentioned this to Toni last year and she said she has never had an earache since. Thank you Jesus, you have never failed.

**************************

The Healed Motor

On August 19, 1970, while we were still in Toronto on a beautiful Sunday afternoon the Lord gave me a vision. We had just come home from church and my sister-in-law, Louise Collins, had come to visit. After the dishes were done, Louise lay down for a rest. I felt uncomfortable and hemmed in that afternoon. My desire was to go for a walk, but instead I went to my bedroom, knelt beside the bed to read the Bible and pray. While praying, I fell asleep and had this vision. I saw what looked like an old cage suspended in front of me near my bedroom closet. It was shaped something like a lobster cage. I was fascinated with large printed letters of the word: "JESUS," across the front. The object was very black and I noticed one side was badly damaged. It is difficult to describe and I pondered what it all meant. Suddenly, the cage took its proper shape and I said, "Oh, it's a miracle," and then I awoke with a happy feeling and the word: "Brockville," was on my mind.

I still didn't have the slightest idea as to what it all meant, but I knew that something good was going to happen and I would recognize it when it came. I didn't tell anyone about the vision but inside I was overwhelmed with joy.

During this time, Toni was at Brockville going to a Christian school. My heart was burdened for her because she still had not given her life to the Lord. I recall how difficult it all looked  one particular night when it seemed that all my prayers were in vain. While alone in the house, I fell on my face before the Lord, although I felt I couldn't pray. While in His presence, I saw a picture of Jesus. What a burden He bore for us, as He willingly gave His life for the sins of the world. Then I thought of Mary, His mother and the burdens she bore, knowing that her Son would die such a terrible death. Then I realized my grief seemed as nothing in comparison and my troubled soul was comforted. When I arose I realized that Jesus was my burden bearer and He had sent His loving words to comfort me. Then there was peace in my heart and the burden had lifted.

Toni and Walter will remember this incident well. While Toni was still at Brockville, she stayed with the Elliott family. One Sunday morning Walter, Dad and I went down to pick her up. We had dinner at the Elliott's  and left, planning to get back to Toronto for the evening service. After praying together, we were on our way.

We got as far as Kingston and the motor in the car stopped dead, right beside a garage. Walter went into the garage and the mechanic came out to look at the motor and gave us the news that the motor was gone, (ie. ceased up). Walter went back into the garage to phone Toronto to get a tow truck but couldn't get one. Then it entered my mind to pray. I said, "Toni, let's lay hands on the car and pray." And pray we did! Then we all got into the car, Walter turned the key and it started. Very slowly and in fear and trembling, we ventured out onto the 401 Highway. I kept praying all the way up to Toronto and when we arrived near our parking lot the car began to wobble and vibrate. I said, "Lord, get us there!"  When the car stopped, it was right where we wanted it.

By this time they were all out of church and thinking of Dorothy and Ralph, I called them to let them know that all was well. That night Walter had to take a bus to go and see his girl friend.

The next morning, Walter had to get the car in for repairs, so I prayed again and asked the Lord to get him to a nearby garage. He went down and started the car again and made it to the garage where he was told it needed a new motor.

It was much later when I came to understand that the vision of the cage and Brockville related to the miraculous trip in that broken old car.  Jesus was the answer even for badly damaged motors. Thank you, Jesus.

***************

My Secure Future

There are many more instances like this, where the Lord had answered my prayers and performed miracles. In my Christian walk with Him, I have abundant proof that God is real. The Devil is real too. He can blind our mind and keep us from seeing the truth of God's Word. He is able to lead us astray and destroy the soul. Jesus gave His life to save us from that destruction and to give us life eternal. He is gone to His Father now, to prepare a home for us. Right now He is making intercession for us before the Father.  The Bible says a trumpet is going to sound and the dead in Christ will rise first and we who are alive and remain will be caught up to Heaven together. And shall be ever with the Lord.

I remember one night, I had a dream about the Rapture. In the dream I heard a trumpet and I said, "Oh, it's the Trumpet sounding." Then immediately the Spirit of the Lord came upon me and I recalled the words of scripture where it says, "We will be changed in the twinkling of an eye." And oh, the changes that were going on in my body - I just couldn't describe it! Then, as I started to lift off the bed, I awoke. Dad was asleep beside me at the time and at that moment he awoke too. I blurted out that I was just going up in the Rapture. He said a few sharp words and went back to sleep.

That experience was something like the song that says, "This robe of flesh I'll drop and rise to seize the everlasting prize."  What a glorious hope we have as Christians, to live with Jesus and to walk the golden streets forever. There will be no more sickness and pain, no more burdens or cares. This is just a wilderness we are passing through and in just a little while all life's struggles will be over. Jesus told us to comfort one another with this hope.

How beautiful are the things He has taught us in His Word about our future home and glorified bodies. We will know each other and engage freely in conversation, we will be able to touch and enjoy eating but won't have to in order to sustain life. The glorified body will be free from sickness, ageing, pain and death.  We will be able to appear and disappear as Jesus did. We'll be able to think of a place and be there instantly. Our bodies will be perfect and beautiful.

Our new home, the New Jerusalem, which will come down from Heaven will be a place of perfection. The saints will come back to rule with Christ. Satan will be bound and there will be no temptation.

I think of the goodness of God - how He reveals Himself to His children, sometimes through His Word, sometimes through a promise, or a dream, or vision and sometimes by His miraculous ways. His promise is that if we obey Him, we are entitled to divine health.  John 15:7 says, "If you abide in me and my Words abide in you, ye shall ask what you will and it shall be done unto you."

In 1 Corinthians chapter twelve, the Lord describes the gifts He will give to His children: Wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discerning of spirits and interpretation of tongues. Then there are the Fruits of the Spirit that are available to us: Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.

WE'RE NOT HOME YET.

We're not home yet children,

keep your eyes upon the Saviour.

Just a few more days

and we'll sit down by the river.

How I long to be

with Jesus and our loved ones

gone before us.

There's a better day coming,

we're not home yet.

Lord, Touch That Machine!

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Jesus said, "If my words abide in you and you abide in me, you can ask what you will and you will receive them and when you pray, believe and you shall receive." Thank you, Jesus, for your precious word. This verse of scripture reminded me of the problem with my clothes dryer and how the Lord made His word real to me. The dryer was in the basement and after trying to get it working several times I finally gave up on it. I did not know how I was ever going to get it fixed but was not bothered too much since I used it only when it was too cold to put the clothes on the line.

By this time the weather was getting cold and I still didn't have a dryer. One day the thought came to me to go into the basement and lay my hands on the dryer and ask the Lord to get this thing moving. The first time I turned the button there was not a move. Then I prayed to Him again in faith that He would start the motor. I turned the button again and this time it started! I ran up the stairs praising the Lord. Maggie would be home from work soon and I couldn't wait to tell her. Later when I phoned her I said, "You are not going to believe what I am going to tell you." She said "What is it Mom?" I said, "I just prayed for my dryer and it works like a clock."

A year has passed since then and the thing is still working. All praise to Jesus, He doeth all things well. His word says, "We have not because we ask not." I believe God is interested in the little things of our lives.

I have to depend on Him so much. Sometimes I misplace things and have to ask Him to help me find them. There have been so many times when He has helped me in these little things. Praise His name, He never fails.

***************

My Physician

One day while I was in my kitchen alone, I was getting ready to prepare dinner when a pain like a knife hit me in the knee. It was so severe that fear gripped my heart. I thought afterward that if that pain had touched my heart, I probably would have died suddenly. I couldn't straighten my leg and I was there all alone crying out to the Lord. I reminded Him of His promise that He gave me some years before, that no weapon formed against me would prosper. As I kept praying, I thought the pain would go in a few minutes, but by the time it did leave I was totally exhausted. When it seemed as if I could take no more the pain left. I tried to get something to eat, but was too weak to put a cup up to my mouth. He healed me again that day and that pain has never returned. Thank you Jesus.

When I became a born-again Christian I believed God and took Him at His word. I believed Jesus was all His word said He was and from then on He was the Great Physician in our home. I would not be able to put into words all the little things Jesus did in our family. Once in particular I remember praying for my husband when he was very sick and had cried out that he was dying. I asked him if he wanted me to send for the doctor or pray. He said,"Pray!"

Just at that moment two Christians walked into the house, my son-in-law, Albert and Phil Roach and the three of us knelt down and prayed. My husband was healed that very instant.

I could go on and on about the miracles and the goodness of God. But I have said enough, my children, to let you know how real God is. He is a present help in time of trouble if only we would prove Him. His word says, "We have not because we ask not." If I know how to give good gifts to my children, how much more will our Heavenly Father give good gifts to us when we ask Him. Thank you loving Heavenly Father, I love you with an everlasting love.

*******************

1991

It is now New Year's Day 1991. I have committed all our family, including my grandchildren, into His loving care. I feel I have much to praise and thank God for. He has already blessed us and protected us through the years. Best of all, I thank Him for Salvation and the privilege to pray my family into His kingdom. The circle is not completed yet, but by faith, I will be meeting them all in Heaven.

Today I look back to another answered prayer. My heart rejoiced in seeing Edgar come to the Lord. During the last few years before he died, he became a Christian and was baptised in water to rise to newness of life. He went to church with me up to the last Sunday before he died. This was a miracle indeed. It will be eight years now, on the last day of August (1983), since he passed on. There is no more pain for him now, his suffering is all over. Mom's advice to you children, is to be prepared to have that sweet reunion when we'll meet all our loved ones who have gone on before. Thank you, Jesus, you made it all possible when you gave your life on the cross. You have freed us from the snares of the Devil and taken all our sins and sickness.

*******************

From Mom With Love

I wonder what would happen,

If I forgot to pray.

Will it withhold the blessing

from my children far away?

I do not understand

how my prayers can avail -

But if they should bring a blessing

I pray, I'll never fail.

One last word for all my children and grandchildren: with the help of the Holy Spirit, I have finished this book for you. I want you to know that I love you dearly and when my work here is finished, I am ready to meet my precious Jesus, whom I love and serve.

My heart's desire and prayer, for you all, is that you would accept Jesus into your hearts and be ready when he calls you to that beautiful home that the Bible tells us about. He has prepared this home for those who love and serve Him. We will be together forever as a happy family. Thank you, loving Father, it is only you that can make it all possible.

Father, I ask you now to fill those vacant places within the heart of my children with Your redemption, Your word, The Holy Spirit, Your love, Your wisdom, Your righteousness and Your revelation knowledge, in the name of Jesus, as I commit them to Your loving care. Amen.

Father, You will perfect that which concerns me. I commit and cast the care of my children, once and for all, over on You. Father, they are in Your hands and I am positively persuaded that You are able to guard and keep that which I have committed to You.

Thank You, Father, in the name of Jesus.

From Mom,

I love you dearly.

A note of thanks to my son, Ralph, for all his help in writing this book. God Bless you,Ralph, for your labour of love.

Tributes

from the children

to

a loving mother.

©            Mother:  Listener, teacher and miraculous blend of peacemaker, counsellor and best kind of friend. Mom you have been all of that to us and we love you.  Reading your book brought back lots of memories. Especially the one about my Christmas tree. It always used to be juniper, remember?

Since living in Gander, I’ve had a juniper tree twice and they brought back many pleasant memories of childhood.  When you mentioned the big candy hearts you had on your tree as a child, I always think of the ones Nan Matthews used to have on her tree.  They were so beautiful with big pink flowers on them.  However, unlike you and your sister and brother, who were so obedient and never touched them, I yielded to temptation every Christmas.  I used to hide behind Nan’s tree and lick the backs of those hearts.  I didn’t dare touch the front part  where the decorations were, but nobody seemed to notice the back of those candies deteriorating each year. (I’m sure they never would have blamed “innocent little me” anyway.)  I’m sorry that I can’t remember my father being barely three when he died.  You have been brother, father and mother to us, Mom.  I was also blessed by the parenting of Nan and Uncle Sam who loved me like their own.

I thank God for all my aunts and uncles and their Godly, upright lives.  They were also an influence in my life. I thank the Lord for all our family and for His leading in our lives.

Thank you, Mom.  Love, Dorothy.

****

©             From my earliest memories Mom, I think of you as a very loving, kind and patient person.  Though life held many hardships for you, you have always been courageous and strong.  Above all, you have had strong faith in the Lord.  My feelings for you are somewhat summed up in this poem:

My Mother

Thank God for you dear Mother,

your tenderness and care,

the hours of comfort within me,

just knowing that you’re there.

Your love has made our house a home,

a place where we all gather

your faith has lifted up the load

and filled our hearts with laughter.

Though problems come and problems go

your faith and love in me still grow.

Thank God for you dear Mother,

you know I love you so.

Love, Rita

****

©             When Mom first started to send me short excerpts of her life story, my aim was simply to get  some of our family history on paper so that it would be preserved for all of us. As I started to work on the material, I realized that it was far more valuable than simply the history of her youth. I found that it was arriving at a difficult time in my own life. Her experiences, related through the book, were a blessing and encouragement to me when I needed it.

Mom has always been the stabilizing factor in my life, as I know she has been for the rest of the family. In difficult times, as well as good ones, she has always been consistent. I know she has been through extremely difficult times because I was there during some of them and also the cause of some of them. However, never once have I seen her falter in her devotion to her children. Never have I seen her falter in her determination to seek God. Her unwavering request, one never mixed with doubt, is that God will bring all of her family into His kingdom.

Of all the Christians I have had the privilege to meet, my mother has been the best example that I have had to follow. I thank God for giving her grace and patience. I thank Him also for her prayers and for the influence she has been in my life.  I trust her story will touch you and bring you closer to God.

Thank you, Mom, I love you, Ralph.

****

©             Mom, you have inspired me many times through my life. I have always admired your strong motivation. Once your mind was made up to do something, it seemed as if there was nothing that could stop you.  Your strong will has set a good example for us all.

Love, Betty

****

©             Having lived near Mom for most of my life I would like to mention her faithfulness to her church and her God.  As far back as I can remember, she never missed a Sunday service or a prayer meeting during the week.  If she did miss one occasionally it was rare.  I might add that she believed that sickness should not stop one from going to church because we should go to church and be prayed for.  I think the couple of times she did stay home was because I talked her into it.  She would never be late for services.  If we were not ready to leave, she would leave or have Mrs. Genge pick her up. She was determined to be at church to pray at least half hour before the service started.

Thank you Mom for your faithfulness.  Love, Maggie.

****

©             You have such a vivid recollection of things in the past. However, you forgot to mention the time when we were going up the Barracks Hill and you were pulling me on a coaster. You had an armful of parcels and you tried putting some of the parcels on the coaster with me to ease the heavy load you were carrying. I remember not wanting you to do this and I had such a temper tantrum that you had to take the parcels and drag the coaster with one hand and carry the parcels with the other. I marvel at your patience.

I remember also your  strength and courage and the love you have shown me over the years. Your recollection of our family history will be passed on to future generations.  A true gift of love for your children.  Congratulations on writing your memoirs.

Love always, your son, Walter.

****

©             My thoughts return to that midsummer day on the squid jigging grounds with Dad, Kevin and me.  As I sat with great anticipation in the boat the squids elected to bombard us with their black juice. Poor Mom was aghast as she patiently dunked our bespeckled bodies in the bathtub but I had a ball.

Love, Toni.

****

©             It is not easy to put my thoughts of Mom into a few words.  She means so much to me and has helped shape my life to what it is today.  I remember Mom for her endurance, patience and undying love.

I can remember her sending me out to pick blueberries.  I must have been about four years old at the time.  Mom said that if I could pick enough blueberries she would bake a blueberry pudding for supper.  So off  I went with my jar and returned many hours later with my berries.  Mom was so proud of me - she praised me to the sky.  During supper we ate the finest pudding ever baked because that day I felt like I had become a man.

Mom was always there for me.  She always reminded me that I was in her prayers. When I think of her I think of God and can picture her on her knees praying for me and the rest of our family.

I love you, Mom, Kevin.

*****